Alien Hangovers are the Worst

[smartass_captain]

Jim doesn't want to be here. His ears are ringing, everything is too bright, and he is crazy sore. There are slightly more immediate matters at hand, however. Kirk clears his throat before facing the forum.

"Is there a proper flower or card to express 'Sorry I passed out and drooled on you before puking on the floor'? Because I really need that right now." Jim rubs at his face slowly, scrubbing it over his eyes and down his cheeks.

And no, giving him a bucket isn't necessary. He's more or less fine now, just feeling really awful right this second. In more than one way.

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[workthroughit]

"The asphodel is a flower that can mean 'my regrets'," offers the man slowly stirring tea in an ornate teacup. The spoon softly clinks against the surface of the ivory. "But it is also known as the flower of the dead, ha ha." He laughs gently, like he'd just made a far more conversational joke.

[smartass_captain]

At least said cultured gentleman is talking slowly and quietly. Jim tries to focus, scowling as he listens.

"I think there's been enough mixed messages without my having to explain 'no i don't want you to drop dead I want to apologize'. Ugh. Man I messed up."

[workthroughit]

His voice also has a distinct northern european accent; danish, maybe?

"Go on. I'm listening." Dr. Hill is a very good listener. He takes a testing sip of his tea before retrieving a folded packet from one pocket, adding a little more sugar and resuming his stirring.

[smartass_captain]

"No that..that is literally what happened." That thing he said before. Jim sighs and tries his damnedest to remember the previous night. It's a haze of drinking and story time, and then Jim doesn't remember. He does remember waking up spooning a lady with severe personal space needs and then throwing up on the floor. At..at least he was dressed. That's something, right?

"Might have just messed up a friendship because I'm fuckin' awful at dealing with women without sleeping with them." He's pretty sure that didn't happen, but honestly Jim's in 'worst case scenario' mode. "She was pretty mad."

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint has a bag of frozen peas on his head, and a cup of orange juice in his hand. There is, apparently, enough hangover to go around. "Maybe some kinda space flower?" he suggests. "Like, something that reminds you of her?" Had someone given him that advice, himself? He's almost sure. And something about roses. Roses good? Roses bad? Head fuzzy.

[smartass_captain]

"She's so fuckin' pissed." Jim groans and slumps into the nearest chair. "I don' even remember half the goddamn evening. How the fuck did the three of us finish that bottle?" How much had he drank, anyway? Way too much, clearly. He doesn't usually get sick off that stuff.

"Woke up an' we were both dressed though. That's something." Jim doesn't think he'd be alive to talk about it if things were different. "So I'm pretty sure I didn't...you know...fuck things up. Literally. With her."

[aw_hawkguy]

"I'm pretty sure we drank it," Clint groans. "What did she say? Like, how mad is she? 'Cause she doesn't really mince words."

Beat. "Y'want some frozen peas?"

[smartass_captain]

"Pretty sure we did, yeah." Jim agrees and groans. First time he'd ever thrown up after a night of that stuff. He sighs heavily. Pause.

"I...I didn't stick around long enough to find out." Jim admits, suddenly. "I kind of panicked and...and bailed." That's not good, is it?

He shakes his head. CLint can keep the frozen veggies.

[bestdadinamestris]

Normally, this would be the sort of conversation Hughes would have with Roy in a rather loud voice. One where he'd clap him on the back as often as he could and laugh boisterously as he asked his best friend to tell him all about his problems (which he likely heard the night before during the heavy drinking) and offer sage advice after a lot of loud "hmm"-ing.

But that look on Jim's face... well, Hughes has been there, buddy.

"Tulips or hyacinths, preferably white." His voice is soft and full of sympathy. "And when you give them to her, lots of groveling. Women seem to like that when you've really messed up." He doesn't know it's girl problems, but it seems like a good stab in the dark.

[smartass_captain]

"She's not my girlfriend." Jim corrects. Let's get that out of the way entirely. The last thing he needs is that rumor spreading and making this even worse. He doesn't even know what she's going to do to him when she finds him, let alone what she'd say or think if she thought Jim had been claiming to have claimed her in any way--literal or metaphorical.

"She's a friend I really don't want to lose for being a colossal idiot." He doesn't even remember the night before after a point. Just sitting between his two friends, drinking and enjoying stories. "White tulips. Hyacinths. Yeah. I can do that." Ugh, Jim is so not a flowers kind of guy, but if ever a situation called for it....

[bestdadinamestris]

"Never said she was, but thanks for clarifying." Calm down, Jim. Hughes seriously isn't out to confuse you this time. He's honestly just trying to help.

"Trust me, friend or not, these flowers are the way to go. They're the universal 'sorry' in the world of flowers." Hughes can remember the last time he needed to use them very clearly, considering it was only a few weeks ago. Gracia had been so upset with him after he got caught up in the Nexus...

"Are there any flower stands here in the Nexus? I admit, I haven't explored this place very well. If not, maybe someone can help you out? Get you to a world where you can buy some?" Hughes isn't offering, sadly. Poor Jim would stick out like a sore thumb in a Amestris. And Hughes would get in major trouble if he bought flowers that didn't go home to his wife and she found out about it.

[smartass_captain]

Jim's nodding, swallowing thickly as he listens to Hughes explain. This could work. It wasn't his favorite way to go about things, but well. He's already convinced himself that she isn't going to be speaking to him in the immediate future. Jim should try to fix this if he can.

"There's flower shops in the commercial district. Hell, you can buy anything else there, why not flowers." Kirk is vaguely sure they had even been taking about flowers the night before. He doesn't remember how or why. Just that Verity brought up flowers. She must like them.

[brave_heart_verity]

Verity's sitting somewhere behind Jim, drinking coffee and watching him. She looks amused.

"You don't remember much that happened last night, do you?"

[smartass_captain]

Aw, son of a bitch.

Jim had not run fast or far enough. He winces. No, it's a flinch. He flinches visibly. Calm, collected tone. He's heard that one before. When Uhura's lips get into that thin line and he knows a storm is coming.

You've got this, Jim. You can do this. He turns slightly, glancing at Verity over his shoulder. "...Drinks and story time....I think?" He forces a smile. "All I know is that we finished a bottle of the stuff and man....that's a bad idea." The smile slips. Jim feels too guilty to fake anything. "...Sorry...you know." Gesture vaguely. "For earlier."

[brave_heart_verity]

She's just confused now. "Why? I mean I could live without the drooling, but it's just a shirt. I'll do laundry. No big deal."

Oh look, she's got another coffee, which she holds out to him. "How're you feeling?"

[smartass_captain]

Blink.

"Wait. You're...not mad?" Jim looks very confused right this second. Pretty sure she got all antsy over things much less intimate than drooling on someone's chest. Which does make a nice pillow but that is so beside the point. He's also pretty sure he had his hand on her butt at one point there. Also nice--dammit Jim, focus. If she isn't mad at you now, she will be. He'll slowly wander over and take a seat.

"So..I don't need to go get you white hyacinths or...whatever?"

[eumenis]

"Point out the positives. Send a note that says: 'Sorry I passed out and drooled on you but at least I didn't puke on you'." Sage advice from a woman who's had more War Boy rotgut than any sensible human being should.

It's a completely deadpan suggestion, but it may or may not be tongue-in-cheek.

[smartass_captain]

"That is surprisingly thought out." Not because of anything. JIm just isn't used to people giving him good advice as opposed to being sarcastic or laughing at him.

He needs to tell Bones to listen to these guys. Seriously. Anyway, Mystery Woman seems pretty chill and down to Earth. Jim actually smiles, despite his splitting headache. That arm alone looks like it could break bones with a rough squeeze. Definitely not pissing this lady off.

"I appreciate it. Jim Kirk." He nods her way.

[eumenis]

They don't make greeting cards where Furiosa is from. Sometimes you have to improvise. Not that she's ever had to send such a note--most of her crew couldn't read, and they're the only ones she'd ever risk passing out on--but, well. Things happen on the road.

"Furiosa." She nods back and offers an armclasp. Her right arm is standard-issue. The left is a metal prosthesis from the elbow down. "You look miserable. Need some water?"

[toboldly_go]

"What's wrong? Drank too much Romulan ale? Or, do you not have that yet?" He smiled at his younger self and forgot how young he used to be. "I would get Bones to give you a drink but he's not here. How bad are you?"

[smartass_captain]

Could today get any worse? He's already got a splitting headache and now he has to deal with his own overly satisfied smirk. Is that what he looks like when he does that? Really? Wow. He has to apologize to Bones because that is a face Jim wants to punch right this second.

"Yes that is a thing." Not in the mood for your crap, Kirk. Not. In. The mood. Is this how it feels to talk to him? Ugh Jim wants to crawl in a corner and die. "You're still here. ..Lovely. I'm fine. Just...I gotta apologize to Verity."

[toboldly_go]

He isn't trying to mock you, Kirk. He's just being himself.

"Might I ask how you came to be in this position?" He narrowed his eyes at the hung-over Kirk and wondered if his younger self had been in a celebration of some such.

[h_hollister]

Hips? Hips just laughs. In a totally supportive and non-judgmental way. Seriously. Hi there, Jim. Have a hot blonde with big knockers and a futuristic perspective.

"Smeg, son. If you figure that out? Send me a text message. I've got no chill when it comes to forgiveness."

[smartass_captain]

Good thing Jim's too dead to the world to be emasculated by that laugh. He quirks an eyebrow that travels a wee bit higher then he intended when he notes the smokin' hot intelligent looking independant woman off to the side over there.

"Don't suppose there's a decent hangover cure around here..." Jim she doesn't have any ID on her chest or her butt stop those abortive glances mister. "Jim Kirk by the way. Sorry the introduction has to happen like this."

[h_hollister]

"Hippolyta Hollister."

She's all grins, and steps closer to the totally hot captain.

"Hangover cures? Protein. Carbs. Electrolytes. Bacon. Pancakes. Gatorade. All of the above will make you feel one hundred percent more human, no matter how much you've ingested. Or what you've ingested."