At What Price Respect

[brave_heart_verity]

Verity in the forum? Not a strange sight. Verity without coffee? Rather less common. Verity slumping, exhausted, into a couch? Unusual. Verity covered in scrapes, bruises, and dust? Definitely strange.

"Help isn't if it's forced on someone. This is true. Someone not in possession of all of the facts cannot give fully informed consent. This is also true. But nobody can be forced to listen." Of course Verity has things on her mind. Who here doesn't? "How do you reconcile that? Is ignorance truly bliss? Or do you do what's needed to save someone despite their choices?"

((A note before you come to play with Verity: she's got a magic spell stuck in her that lets her always know when someone is lying to her. This includes sarcasm and knowing when someone believes something to be true when it isn't. This doesn't include lies of omission. She can also see through illusions. Please respect this; if your character is trying to lie to her, please make that known so she can react appropriately. [I completely understand this isn't going to be everyone's idea of fun.] Thanks.))

Comments

[brave_heart_verity]

Nobody succeeds all the time. Even Verity lies sometimes. (Canonically, most to her mom and a little kid, so she feels super great about that.)

She's obliging in that she curls up against his side, but that look she's giving him is not obliging at all. "Human lie detector, remember? Try again." He's not getting away with it, but she's not mad at him. Not yet. "Would it help if I promise not to tell anyone?"

[smartass_captain]

He thinks he's managed to dodge the bullet riiight up until she looks at him again. Aw. Dang.

"....Yeah I was kind of hoping I'd stopped myself quick enough for a loophole." Oh well. Might as well get this over with. He takes a deep breath, stares out across the Nexus so he doesn't have to see her reaction to this.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm supposed to be dead. If things would be better that way."

[brave_heart_verity]

Nobody likes to see her angry face.

"No. Nothing would be better that way. Not anything worthwhile. Don't even say that!" She is going to double down on that cuddling now since he's being dumb. It seems like a better idea than smacking him, but that's still an option.

[smartass_captain]

"I don't mean in a 'fishing for compliments' kind of way. You don't...You have to be dead to understand." Jim sighs but he wraps the arm he has around her tighter as though to reassure him he's still there.

"I'm not suicidal. But I was fucked up before I died. Now it's just compounded. I should still be dead. I felt it happening. And trying to rationalize being alive again...sometimes nothing feels real."

[brave_heart_verity]

She's right there, Jim, for as long as you need her to be. She's not going anywhere. And if she's there, he must be too.

Maybe he's right. Maybe only people who've been through that will understand. She doesn't, not really, but she's trying to. "Did you not want to come back?" She hasn't given much thought to what comes after, or more specifically, which afterlife she'll go to when it's her time. But she's heard some of them are nice, and he deserves a nice one.

[smartass_captain]

He was a touchy kind of person before he died too. Now part of it makes a bit more sense. It's how he knows he's still alive. And not dreaming. God his dreams are beyond fucked up now.

"I didn't want to die. But I accepted it. Waking up again...after. I don't know." He settles on that because anything else would feel like a lie. "...I only went back to the ship the one time. To get you guys your gifts. I haven't been back since." As long as they're coming clean about things, this should be one of them.

"The door back....it's where I died. I can't tell the others about it because it's fucked up enough without them having to relive that. And I haven't gone back because...I don't want to see it, either. Been living here mostly, eating in the commercial district and crashing on couches."

[brave_heart_verity]

There's someone around here who fixes dreams. Verity could arrange an introduction.

She's worried by these revelations, of course, but is glad he trusts her with them. "I'm sorry. I don't think I'd be brave enough to go back at all." No judgment there, just hugs. "Would it help if someone went with you to the door? I wouldn't mind being your escort. I'm sure Clint would go too." Safety in numbers?

[smartass_captain]

It's complicated. He's met the guy once, but he doesn't want anyone else to see his dreams. To be able to see who he thinks he is, deep down.

"Went back with Schon the one time. He helped me out, made it so I wasn't afraid." It's telling that he doesn't immediately brush the offer for help off. Accepting help has never been something he's good at, but. Well.

"Yeah, that might....That might work. You guys don't...don't have those memories. It wouldn't be upsetting for you to see it."

[brave_heart_verity]

She didn't take the guy up on his offer either.

Schon and his magic get a little smirk from her. He's so nice when he thinks he's going to profit from it. "Not as upsetting. We can go whenever you're ready. And until then, why not go stay with Clint again? He likes having you around."

No pressure. Just a few ideas and her friendship. It's not much.

[smartass_captain]

For better or worse, Jim thinks Schon is good people. He just assumed Schon was into him. It wouldn't be the first time and Jim's not one to judge.

"Ah, maybe. If he wanted me around again. I don't want to be a burden." Or have more people than necessary know he's bumming in the Nexus because he's afraid to use a door.

[brave_heart_verity]

Verity's pretty sure Schon is favor-sexual. And there's nothing wrong with that.

"He was pretty bummed when you left last time," she points out. "So I'm pretty sure he'd say yes if you asked. You could help him figure things out with his girlfriend." What did that poor woman ever do to Verity to deserve such a suggestion.

"I'd offer my place, but I'm staying with a friend right now and... that would get awkward." Don't ask please don't ask.

[smartass_captain]

"Really? Well, I mean. Maybe. His brother's in town now, pretty sure. So I'd probably be in the way." For a guy who is sex on legs and all confidence, Jim really does have a low opinion of himself, doesn't he?

There's the grin she missed. Wait, no now is not the time for that grin James. Put that away.

"Ooooh. I get it. You're shacking up with whats his face." Who? He wouldn't be this happy if he knew. "So. You and Officer Candyass then?" Up go those eyebrows. Waggle, waggle.

[brave_heart_verity]

"I think he likes you better than his brother. And really, if there are two Bartons in the same time zone, they definitely need looking after." And she is sure as hell not doing it.

Oh god, that grin. And now she's blushing. "No. I'm not staying with Katsuya. I think if anyone ever suggested that he'd faint. You have a dirty mind."

[smartass_captain]

"I could relate." Jim likes Clint a hell of a lot better than Sam. Clint hasn't abandoned him. Yet.

Aha! Jim knew there was something there.

"Why not? He's totally doable. He's gay, is that it?"

[brave_heart_verity]

She has no siblings, not even cousins that she's met, so she can't relate at all.

"What, jealous he wasn't paying you enough attention? Pale and bleeding isn't your best look, even if it does keep working on me." She's not so flustered she can't tease him right back.

[smartass_captain]

Jim would tell her its a good thing. The less people in your life, the less you have that will abandon you.

"Me? Nah, he's not my type. I mean if he was offering I wouldn't say no, but I'm not gonna make an effort on someone like that. I didn't know stiff and uptight was your weakness. Remind me not to introduce you to Spock. His girlfriend might get jealous."

[brave_heart_verity]

They're such cynics.

"Yes, because I'm definitely the type to run after someone. Especially someone already in a relationship. You know me so well." She rolls her eyes because this much sarcasm cannot be contained. "Why are you so determined about this?"

[smartass_captain]

You live, you learn. No one's ever proved him wrong, so.

"I dunno. He's all Vulcan and logical and you're a walking lie detector. Plus Spock is good looking. Actually all of my friends are, which is damn distracting sometimes." He nudges Verity right back. "Because I thought you were like, not interested in anyone. Then you start swooning over the good officer while demons are swarming the place and you think, as your friend, I'm not going to be interested in this sudden turn of events?"

[brave_heart_verity]

She's working on it.

"I was not swooning." She was not swooning! "I was glad to see him because I knew he'd know what to do." That was not the only reason she was glad to see him. "If all your friends are so pretty, maybe I should take you back to them now so you can be with people who appreciate your flirtations."

[smartass_captain]

She and Clint both are.

"Sure, Ver." Jim props his chin in hand and grins at her. "Whatever you say. So if you don't want to talk about your boyfriend--" He just grins wider when this earns him a jab in the side.

"You want to get around to telling me what's eating at you then?" He's still holding her with that other arm, don't worry. He'll still be here comforting her.

[brave_heart_verity]

She really doesn't want to talk about Katsuya at the moment. But she really doesn't want to talk about that either.

"I don't suppose you'll let me off when I point out you've got better things to worry about?" She gives him her very best hopeful look. It's not very good because she doesn't have a lot of hope at the moment.

[smartass_captain]

He feels her shift in discomfort and the teasing smile falls. He looks older somehow when he stops playing around. He shifts subconsciously, sitting straighter on the couch before leaning forward so he's close enough to whisper to her.

"That bad, huh? Want me to get you a drink? The rough stuff's always easier to talk about over a good whiskey or bourbon."

[brave_heart_verity]

She shakes her head, putting a hand on his chest to keep him from getting up. She may be uncomfortable with the subject, but she doesn't want him going anywhere.

"It's my mom. I know family stuff can be upsetting so... We don't have to talk about it."

[smartass_captain]

He can stay where he's at, that's fine too. He doesn't lean back right away though. He wants to keep his voice down so the whole forum can't hear them.

"What about her? Is she in danger?" If Verity couldn't save her, jim would. He won't let her go through what Spock had to go through. His jaw ticks slightly.

[brave_heart_verity]

"She's... it's hard to explain." She sighs, shaking her head a little. "Yes, she's in danger. But it's not anything... personal. It's not like anyone's trying to hurt her personally. I want to bring her someplace safe, but she wants to stay where she is."