nexus_sages | At What Price Respect

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At What Price Respect

Verity in the forum? Not a strange sight. Verity without coffee? Rather less common. Verity slumping, exhausted, into a couch? Unusual. Verity covered in scrapes, bruises, and dust? Definitely strange.

"Help isn't if it's forced on someone. This is true. Someone not in possession of all of the facts cannot give fully informed consent. This is also true. But nobody can be forced to listen." Of course Verity has things on her mind. Who here doesn't? "How do you reconcile that? Is ignorance truly bliss? Or do you do what's needed to save someone despite their choices?"

((A note before you come to play with Verity: she's got a magic spell stuck in her that lets her always know when someone is lying to her. This includes sarcasm and knowing when someone believes something to be true when it isn't. This doesn't include lies of omission. She can also see through illusions. Please respect this; if your character is trying to lie to her, please make that known so she can react appropriately. [I completely understand this isn't going to be everyone's idea of fun.] Thanks.))

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"It's a choice - one of many that could be made. One which many have already taken." She shrugs, her gaze falling to the ground. "Accept it for what it is or move on. If you believe there are other options, then you should focus more on exploring them than putting down this one."

She lifts her gaze up but doesn't look over at Verity. She leans back on the couch and runs her fingers through the strands of polished silver flowers on her hair pin. The small jingling sound they produce is rhythmic and light. "Better is a relative term." This place still freaks her out in ways she doesn't fully understand. "But I am mostly settled now, yes." Is it a lie if she's only talking about her physical state of being? She hopes not. "Schön gave me a job, something much more aligned with what I'd like to be doing right now - moving." Verity can ask for more details if she wants. Amelia didn't stop to answer Verity's questions to speak of the goings on in her life.

Verity takes a breath. "I'm not trying to put anything down. I'm trying to work through what to do. Didn't you have to do the same thing, the first time you had to make this kind of decision? Was it hard?"

The hairpin gets a long look. "That's pretty." She won't press, but the fact she's working for Schön gets a bit of a look. Amelia must know what she got herself into, especially after that scene they watched.

"No, it wasn't." Then again, any decisions regarding her family are easy for her. "I'm not one who believes in waiting to start working toward what I believe is important, though. Life is too short to spend too much time debating." She's not trying to sound overbearing, but that may be how it comes off to Verity. Someone's very sure of what she's done with her life.

"Hm?" The comment catches her off guard. "Oh, thanks." There's some color in her cheeks now. Is she... blushing? "It was... my birthday present last spring. From... from a friend." And now she can't look at Verity. Oh, she is most certainly blushing, then.

She knows what she got into with Schön, but she also knows he's as much on the hook in this as she is. Leaving open terms in their agreement helps.

Verity envies her surety. Verity envies a lot of things. "Maybe life's too long to live with myself if I become someone I hate. You're lucky that's not a problem for you." She's quite sincere about that.

Oh, a friend is it? She suspects, but only smiles. She's not going to give anyone grief over confused relationships. That would be hypocrisy. "Nice friend."

"My life may end up being long, but that won't stop me from doing what I believe is right." She knows that, in the end, she'll pay for her sins in the afterlife, but she doesn't care. Her family is worth it. "The decision you seem to be having troubles with now is what you're willing to live with, rather than what you're willing to put someone else through to save them."

Those cheeks are just getting rosier. "He was." Now, Amelia's not sure if this one is a lie. She doesn't actually know if he's alive or... She wants to believe he's, alive but... "I haven't seen him for some time, though. Didn't even get to thank him for the present. He left before my birthday and had it sent to me via a courier." She pulls her feet up onto the couch and puts her back against the arm of it, keeping her gaze firmly away from Verity. The thought of said "friend" may make her blush, but it also makes her very sad.

"'Put someone through' is a good way of putting it," she admits. "Would you have been grateful if you'd been dragged here against your will by someone with good intentions? I'm not only concerned with my own feelings, or even primarily. I'm not sure if it's more loving to treat my mother like she's an idiot who can't make her own decisions or to act to protect her against her will. Our relationship is complicated and not particularly healthy, and I know a lot of pain and resentment building up over the years has made it harder for me to see things clearly."

She may always have to live with the truth, but she isn't practiced in admitting these things to other people.

Verity can't help with that, unfortunately. Uncertainty is her kryptonite. "You won't be any less grateful for it when you do see him again." Blush? What blush? She's definitely not noticed a blush. Quite determinedly, in fact.

"I have no way of knowing that didn't happen. There's no way for me to know how or why I ended up here." At least, not yet. She's trying to figure that out, though. "If you're so worried that you're having this debate, though, then I assume you'd be better off taking the action rather than waiting. You can repair the damage done later, but you can't fix anything if she's gone because you waited." A poignant, practical point of view.

As someone who lives her life by the lies she tells, Amelia can relate, if in a slightly different manner.

"No, I won't, but..." She sighs softly. "I worry that I won't see him again. He..." How best to explain why he left without getting into too much detail? "He left to seek information about the people who murdered his father. But he... he's still so young."

She takes some time to consider that before she nods. "You're right. Sitting here worrying isn't going to do anyone any good. Thank you."

Although it's made her wonder if she's the only person here with a fully formed understanding of consent.

"I'm sorry. It's never easy being the one left behind to worry." She has a feeling Amelia would rather not talk about that, so she'll change the subject. "Tried any new sodas since we talked?" It's clumsy, but she means well.

"If I can help any further, you have but to ask." Offering an open ended invitation to someone she barely knows is a big deal for her.

Consent is irrelevant when it comes to saving loved ones. If they care about you, they'll let it go when you make it up to them later.

"That's why I want to keep moving..." It's a thought very softly spoken. She's unsure if Verity hears her, and she doesn't know if it's better if she does.

"No, I've avoided anything new like that. If I buy anything for myself, I've been grabbing it from the open air market." She smiles the slightest bit. "That places reminds me of home."

"Thank you." Verity's not one to abuse that kind of offer. She's still having trouble with the idea of letting her friends try to help her when they, er, volunteer.

"The market is nice." If she heard or not, she won't comment. It wasn't the sort of thing that was asking for comment. "I like it there too. I bet you're much better at the bargaining. That's not something we do much where I'm from."

Perhaps it's better for the help to not come from someone she considers a friend? She doesn't know Amelia very well, so maybe that makes it easier? Or, perhaps, it's that she just doesn't want to burden anyone and the open offer from a stranger is easier to blow off?

Whether she heard it not, the lack of comment on it is appreciated. "I didn't worry about bargaining too much, though I couldn't stop myself completely. It's in my nature to haggle over everything."

It's comforting, to speak with someone who's a relative stranger about things that don't really matter. It reminds her of the days when she was just a shop hand at her family's business, when all she had to really think about was shooting the breeze until they bought something or she sent them away when another customer came in.

Or maybe she's spent so long alone she doesn't know how to accept help. The fact there's nothing anyone can really do does play a part.

"I think some of the vendors expect it. They're probably glad you know what you're doing."

Sometimes it's nice to not have to worry about everyone around you. Maybe that's why Amelia's here. A sort of vacation.

Never give up hope, Verity. Even the darkest of moments can't last forever.

"I can't tell, but I suppose I'll figure it out as I keep going back."

Amelia loathes vacations. All that time with nothing to do. She's never had anyone to spend it with or who wanted to take up her time that she wanted close. It's why she wanted a job more stimulating than one doing accounting for a merchant here. It's why she didn't sleep while she had the time to do so between jobs for Schön. Slowing down lead to time for her thoughts, and that was never a good thing.

After a moment of silence, Amelia looks over at Verity. "You going to be okay?"

Oh, the death of a planet can last a pretty damn long time if you survive it.

Working for Schön is a decidedly more interesting line of work than accounting and will likely keep her as busy as she wants to be. The whole not sleeping thing probably isn't a great idea but to each their own.

She gives a little nod to answer the question. "Yeah. I'll be fine. Thank you."

That would do it...

It'll catch up to her. Eventually. But with her penchant for nightmares when things get bad, she'd like to avoid the whole sleeping thing as much as possible.

"If you need anything, let me know." She stands and smooths out her clothing a bit before looking down at Verity. "Don't spend too much time alone with your thoughts - it's a dangerous thing to do when important decisions remain to be made."

Someday Verity will introduce her to the wonders of prescription sleep aids. She knows all about them, having tried them all.

"I will. And thank you, for the advice. I appreciate it." She really is grateful for the help, even if she doesn't seem happy with it. "I'll be careful."

If she can get Amelia to give up her stash of herbs and spices for modern pharmaceuticals, Verity will have performed a small miracle. Though, perhaps, that might be best. Small glass vials don't always do well in Amelia's care.

There's no expectation of happiness in the response. Amelia knows better, having seen it dozens of times before. "Best of luck, then." With a small incline of her head and shoulders, she turns and strolls off down the street of the Forum, disappearing into the crowd with ease.

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At What Price Respect

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