Sibling Rivalries: Chili Edition

[brave_heart_verity]

Flyers have been going up around the Forum and Commercial District for the last week or so. This morning,the lights in the VSW Meadhall came on. By noon, anyone getting close enough to an open door would know: chili's on!

Inside, everything's set up and waiting for the hungry and the curious: Clint's cooking in one corner, and Verity's in the other. Between them, tables are laid out with the necessities: bowls, plates, spoons, and plenty of napkins. There's beer and iced tea, some lovely tres leches cakes provided by the Nexus' favorite Japanese detective, and various toppings for the chili: bottles of sriracha and sweet Thai chili sauce, red pepper flakes, green onions and red, lime wedges, diced bell peppers and jalapeños, crumbled bacon, shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream. Cornbread and tortilla chips round things out.

Long tables with a mix of benches and chairs fill the hall on either side of the fire pits. One has board and card games stacked neatly at one end (they were neat when they were put out, at least). Another has two boxes, one wrapped in purple paper and one in pink, for depositing voting slips.

Poll #17301 1st Annual Chili Cook-Off

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

View Respondents

Who gets your vote?

View Answers

Clint--Avengers Assemble!
3 (42.9%)

Truthfully? Verity.
4 (57.1%)

The fire pits are lit, the food is waiting, and there are games in want of players. What are you waiting for?
((There will doubtless be further Cupid-based shenanigans, but this weekend, it's all about the platonic relationships. Bromances, BFFs, and family ties rule the day! Let's celebrate! Threadhopping, tangents, games, and mischief are all encouraged. Just don't start a food fight or Verity will have to yell.))

Comments

[smartass_captain]

"Gotcha." Jim grins. "Part of it is. But nah man, I get caramel apples with mine. S'all good."

He's reaching for a tortilla chip all the same. They can each scoop out a small amount on a chip for each of them.

"One...two..three!"

Mistakes have just been made.

http://i.imgur.com/mfmcVrS.gif

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint scoops his chip on three, bites down, and swallows as fast as he can.

Oh.

Oh god.

Oh no.

Is his life flashing before his eyes? He's pretty sure it is. Either that, or the ending to 2001. His eyes are tearing up, sweat is beading on his forehead, and he's clinging to a poker face by desperate determination. It's hard to tell whether that sound he just made is a whimper, or the whine of steam escaping.

https://youtu.be/gRCZX9rW8_c?t=32s

[smartass_captain]

No, no fuck Clint and his poker face. Jim coughs and brings his hand to his mouth. Oh no. Oh no what has he done. Everything hurts.

He tries to open his mouth to say something--anything-- but all that comes out is another cough. His eyes screw shut and Jim shakes his head back and forth.

"Nnnnnnn oh fuck. Wheeeeeeew. Oh..Oh shit." Is there water? Ice? Right now Jim would gladly even take Delta Vega and it's Jim eating monsters for the chance to cool off.

[aw_hawkguy]

Nope, Clint can't hold it. He coughs, getting a hand up just in time to shield the precious chili. Doubling over, he just manages to push a beer toward Jim as his body starts to go into full coughing, wheezing rebellion. This was such a bad idea, he can't even articulate it--for, like, a couple reasons.

[red_room]

Click

No, don't mind Natasha laughing quietly over there.

She's totally probably not going to use this later.

[aw_hawkguy]

It's a good thing Clint's hearing is so bad, or you would get such a look, Nat.

But he should be used to some version of Nat blackmailing him by now.

[smartass_captain]

Beer. Yes. Please dear god beer.

"AUGH!" Jim hollers, shaking his head again before he sips at the beer and winces. "Auuuuggoddammit my throat is burning. Clint..wh-why would you....why would--" He can't finish.

Why Clint? Just why?

[aw_hawkguy]

"Ah kugh... kugh... gah!" Clint is trying to say, "I cook for Thor sometimes," with all that implies (it is super funny getting the Son of Odin to make this face), but he can't get it out right now.

[smartass_captain]

"Fuuuu..." Just sip the beer Jim and try not to shudder like that.

"I t-thik I hate dis..." Wheeeew it burns to breathe too. Wow. His sinuses are just not there anymore.

[aw_hawkguy]

"G'ate... i'ea, Jim," Clint groans, leaning on the table and getting his head low to work through it.

[smartass_captain]

"Whu?" Hoo. Hookay. Yeah. Beer is mostly gone and...no, no it still burns.

"Yuh...you made something....suh...something awful here." He blinks away tears and wipes the sweat off of his face. He's gonna get another beer. Clint can have one too.

[aw_hawkguy]

Yeah, Clint is going for another beer--maybe if he gets drunk enough, he'll black out and forget the recipe for Infinity Gauntlet Salsa.

"Th... this... ow... 's what I'm gonna serve... next time Red Hulk comes by. Fuuuuuuuuh!"

[smartass_captain]

"How...Hooooow dih...did you make...this?" Words. Jim can words. Sort of.

The beer is helping.

"Yuh...thin' it'd eat thruh...th'everything."

[aw_hawkguy]

"Cah... carny magic," Clint insists. "An' kept it cold."

[smartass_captain]

"Nnngh....ok...okay...I...You..." Whoooo. Jim's gulping down beer number two pretty quick. But it's not as bad now. Still bad. Still awful, really.

"Oh man. That...that is dangerous."

[aw_hawkguy]

"Yah!" Clint agrees vehemently. "Never doin' this again!"

After a beat, he adds, "I mean... I'll make it... just not doin' this!"

[smartass_captain]

"Are you...expecting Dr. Doom to show up to this thing? Why would you s-...subject someone else to this?!" Okay now whole sentences are coming again. Slowly but surely.

"I'm not eating that again. Oh man. We gotta get more people to try this."

[aw_hawkguy]

"You kiddin'? I'd give this to Thor, any day!" Hey, Clint, when did you start on beer number three? When did you even have beer number two?

"I know, right?" Jim's going to love it, downthread, when Naugus tries some. Maybe if he's good, one of his siblings will share the video.