nexus_sages | (no subject)

There's a distinct smell of ozone gathering several feet in the air over the Nexus forum. When a low rumbling starts, that smell grows sharper, more electric. Something grinding, tearing, burning...

A sudden, massive white flash appears, along with it an unnerving and immediate lack of sound. Where one would normally expect something a little more thunderous- a bang, a pop, possibly a crack -there is just white noise that leaves anyone for several yards around with ringing ears. (Assuming they are in possession of ears, of course.) And as immediate as it had been there, the flash it gone, snapping shut like a hastily done-up zipper.

Left suspended in the air by this event is a bizarre, bearded gargoyle-like figure who is now left to gravity's devices. He plummets, clearly startled, but gathers his wits quick enough to avoid an undignified landing. There is a cold swirl of wind, his cape snaps outward into the distinct shape of bat wings, and allows him to settle gently onto his feet.

The man (person? creature?) jerkily looks about, taking brief stock of his surroundings; upon finding them unfamiliar, he wastes no time pointing his gem-tipped staff menacingly at any general gathering nearby, sharp teeth gritted.

"Who is the master of this realm? Speak, fools!" He looks around again, increasingly agitated, adjusting his grip on his staff, before shaking it again and additionally snapping, "Where is the Doctor? The Quickster!? Why did he contain all of YOU to this realm as well as me?! SPEAK!!"

Ixis Naugus has arrived and he demands to speak to a manager.

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"Mobians. On account of our world being Mobius. Granted, there are a great many races under that identity. Echidnas, foxes...eugh, hedgehogs. You get the idea. Many species, all of us Mobians."

That includes...whatever the hell he is. It's the easy answer, anyway.

"Oh. Then I guess I'd be an Earthling? There are non-human people who live on Earth." She's going to have to think about this. "Would it be rude to ask what race you are?"

"Ah, yes. I supposed that would be comparable. Although we don't call Overlanders Mobians? Only the other assorted races. Curious, that." Now he wonders how that shook out. Because by her logic, yeah, they ARE all Mobians! Weird. Who made this executive decision on racial identity back home?

Naugus' expression sours when asked about his own race, however.

"I'm complicated."

Guess it was rude.

"Sorry." She really is. "My curiosity gets the better of me sometimes. I didn't mean to offend you." About this.

"...Apology accepted." He says it gruffly after a moment of working his jaw one way and the other. He should be used to these questions; he gets them at home too. Touchy subject all around!

"How long have you been in this place?" Let's change the subject!

A subject change is a very good idea right about now.

"I first came here about two months ago. I haven't really explored much yet. Mostly I come to people-watch."

"How pedestrian. So I take it you're free to come and go as you please? A clearly-marked or recognizable door or portal leading back to whence you came?" He looks up towards where he dropped from. There is no such door or portal up there. Just air and the looming, 'helpful' sign.

"Yeah, I can come and go. Which is good, because I would not want to live here." It's fun to visit, and all that.

He sighs, heavy and raspy, once again, roughly stroking at his beard in irritation as he does so.

"Hhhhhhh...I may not have a choice for the time being. Pray tell, is there something I should know about inhabiting this place as well?" This day just gets better and better.

"Well. There's plenty of warnings in the pamphlet. Other than that... be prepared to barter for things. There's a really good place to get bagels and coffee about five minutes down that way. When the signs say 'stay off the grass' they mean it, trust me."

He looks back down at the brochure he'd stuffed into his belt and then back up when she explains anyhow. He'll just make sure to read it that much more closely later.

"It seems this place has rules of the capricious nature."

A pause.

"...I do enjoy a good bagel, though."

"Guidelines, at least."

File another one under "people who calm down for bagels". She's going to have to study this further.

"A good word for it. Laws of the loosest sense. Things to mind and abide by, regardless of how absurd it may seem. Though the place appears remarkably stable." No black holes or things turning into crystal and shattering, only to reform and shatter again! Very civilized.

Bagels are just that good. He could even use his horn to stash extras. Just imagine.

That sounds like the kind of thing you read about in Cosmo that ends in a trip to the ER.

"This part is. But it gets weird around the edges."

Wow. Wow. These are not great mental images anymore.

"Oh? Weird? As in 'unstable' or just some manner of obnoxious?" If he goes to the outskirts expecting spacial anomalies and just finds a lot of dumb novelty shops and meme graffiti, he's gonna be pissed.

Like there's some ending to this story that isn't him being pissed?

"Some of both. Some places change faster than the baristas at a hipster coffee shop. I don't go past where the gravity starts getting questionable."

He perks up, flashing another pointy grin. "This all sounds promising!"

"I suppose you're more prepared for it than I am. Good luck with it."

"I'll be sure to report back posthaste on the matter. Who knows, maybe I'll come to find these fringes more suitable to my tastes and needs than the settled areas." Good bagels or not, he needs to not be somewhere completely mundane.

What kind of a place does he come from that this is "mundane" to him?

No, wait, she probably doesn't want to know.

"Sounds like a plan. Maybe you'll find someplace you actually like."

"Back home on my rightful throne is where I'd like to be, but I suppose if I must wait awhile longer for that moment..."

Ixis Naugus gathers himself up, staff in hand, before twirling his claw and bending into a deep bow.

"I will perhaps begin this investigation posthaste! You've been a splendid source of information, young lady. Until next time."

With one last pointy grin, the mage dissolves into vapour which drifts away on a sudden, short gust of wind.

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#sorrynotsorry

I LOL'd either way

Victory!

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