Back to School - Band Candy (LOL Alert!)

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

A table has been set up in the forum, hung with banners and piled with boxes. A slim, well-dressed man fusses over it, straightening signs and smoothing the tablecloth. The signs and banners are for a high school pep and marching band. When the table and the wrapped bars of chocolate on it are arranged to the man's satisfaction, he steps behind it and raises his voice to call attention.

"Friends! It's the season in many places for the resumption of studies. Children are going back to school, and those schools are woefully unfunded! Tragic, I know, but it's become customary for the funding of activities like sports, art, even music, to be supplied by the sale of treats--such as these!" A sweep of his hand indicates the confections on display.

"The town of Sunnydale always has a particularly difficult time, in that area, I'm sorry to say, and now more than ever. Their school band is hard beset, what with consistently leading the division in fatalities, but now? The majority of their town has been devoured by a sinkhole!" He removes his hat, holding it over his heart as he shakes his head with an expression of sorrow.

It passes. "But! The spirits of those children remain indefatigable, and all they need are instruments, uniforms, and other such trifles, to carry on. So, in the name of lending a hand to those in need, I come to you, good denizens of the Nexus, with the chance to show your support. Reclaim a little taste of youth, and help youths hard beset, all for the flimsiest of payments. I take all forms of currency, and arrangements can be made for deferred billing or other alternatives."

"So: will you think of the children?"

((LOL Alert! This is indeed the candy from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Eating it reverts a character's emotional maturity to adolescence, when hormones run high, judgment runs low, and leading priorities include having fun and impressing the interesting sex(es). The effects are temporary, but seem to be consistent with the quantity consumed, and come on fairly quickly. Have fun with it!))

Comments

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Capable of pity," he corrects, "and parsing a sentence, apparently."

"There will always be people more impressed by flash than substance, and favor convenience over quality. I congratulate you on finding them."

[ixis]

"Oh, well, that. Yes, I suppose that's debatable." He only pities when he knows it's going to royally piss off the person who's receiving it. Weaponized pity.

He strolls alongside the table, looking over the goods. "You don't strike me as the charitable type. I take it you have a whole gross of children now indebted to you? A bit of ghastly business, that. You should be more ethical with your choice of targets."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"My bargains are my own to make, Ixis." The tone of his voice drops a few degrees, even as it grows syrupy. "You would not wish me to describe the details of any bargains we might strike to all and sundry with a passing interest, hmm?"

[ixis]

"Of course not! That's between yourself and your clients. But all the same, why this? It just leads a man to wondering is all." He picks up a fruity chocolate bar and turns it over in his claw. When's the last time he ever even had candy?

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Wonder all you like. I do still sell answers, if your own deductions come up short."

[ixis]

"I'm not wondering nearly that much," he snorts. Finally, he tucks the candy bar into the shadowy folds of his cape, his claw coming back out holding a single silver coin. He flips it towards Schön.

"For the children, as you said."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

Schön catches it, and there's a soft "clink" as he taps it against a horseshoe hanging under the table. "I'm certain they'll be grateful. Eat it in good health."