Back to School - Band Candy (LOL Alert!)

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

A table has been set up in the forum, hung with banners and piled with boxes. A slim, well-dressed man fusses over it, straightening signs and smoothing the tablecloth. The signs and banners are for a high school pep and marching band. When the table and the wrapped bars of chocolate on it are arranged to the man's satisfaction, he steps behind it and raises his voice to call attention.

"Friends! It's the season in many places for the resumption of studies. Children are going back to school, and those schools are woefully unfunded! Tragic, I know, but it's become customary for the funding of activities like sports, art, even music, to be supplied by the sale of treats--such as these!" A sweep of his hand indicates the confections on display.

"The town of Sunnydale always has a particularly difficult time, in that area, I'm sorry to say, and now more than ever. Their school band is hard beset, what with consistently leading the division in fatalities, but now? The majority of their town has been devoured by a sinkhole!" He removes his hat, holding it over his heart as he shakes his head with an expression of sorrow.

It passes. "But! The spirits of those children remain indefatigable, and all they need are instruments, uniforms, and other such trifles, to carry on. So, in the name of lending a hand to those in need, I come to you, good denizens of the Nexus, with the chance to show your support. Reclaim a little taste of youth, and help youths hard beset, all for the flimsiest of payments. I take all forms of currency, and arrangements can be made for deferred billing or other alternatives."

"So: will you think of the children?"

((LOL Alert! This is indeed the candy from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Eating it reverts a character's emotional maturity to adolescence, when hormones run high, judgment runs low, and leading priorities include having fun and impressing the interesting sex(es). The effects are temporary, but seem to be consistent with the quantity consumed, and come on fairly quickly. Have fun with it!))

Comments

[brave_heart_verity]

Here Schön, have a potential customer. Her sweet tooth isn't exactly a secret. Neither is her eternal scepticism. Just because what he's saying is technically true doesn't mean she's going to trust it.

"Band candy? Really?" That seems so beneath him.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Ms. Willis, how good to see you again," the thin man purrs, "and looking as fit and radiant as ever. I'm doing a favor for an associate, helping to distribute these morsels more broadly than they otherwise could. How have you been?"

[brave_heart_verity]

She wishes she could say she's immune to flattery, but that would be a lie. A really obvious one even. (Hey, she has worked hard for these abs nobody can actually see yet.) "Thank you. I've been okay."

She picks up one of the chocolate bars, ostensibly to read the ingredients list. "How'd anyone rope you into a favor?"

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

He laughs. "Why, Ms. Willis, what you must think of me! I do many favors, for many people, and they provide me services in exchange. This little afternoon, for instance, shall replenish my stores of a beguiling array of potions and tinctures."

[brave_heart_verity]

"I think you're a smart businessman who likes favors as payment," she answers easily, turning the bar over before looking up at him. "Is this thing fair trade? Gluten free? Anything I should know about it?" That last question's the only one she cares about but his type like the set dressing. She can get more pointed if she has to.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"I am those things," he agrees. "But when the client has a particular favor in mind, they often serve as excellent currency going the other way."

Her questions get a smile; he does enjoy when someone plays the game. "I am told the ingredients are ethically sourced. The cacao, organically grown, the sugar fair-trade, the milk from pasture-fed cows, the enchantment is the work of earth fae unmarred by modern practices." He pauses, before admitting, "I cannot be certain about the gluten, however."

[sumarusfinest]

Officer Suou is very torn right now. See, he wandered over because the table and banners and such were all going on about supporting a local school. Katsuya loves helping people. And supporting kids. And even sweet things.

But the creepy guy who wanted unnamed favors for opening a door for him is the one pushing said product. Suspicions are on high alert, mister. But..but the children. D: Such a dilemma.

"Isn't it more expensive to convert all the varying currencies? How much actually ends up being donated?" Ask the practical questions first, Katsuya. Verity's here, so that's at least reassuring?

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

Schön puts on an innocent expression--after all, it's for the kids, right? "An excellent question, sir. The truth is that I do the conversion, myself. I have some reserves of the appropriate currency, so when I receive something other, I simply hold on to it for when I might next need it, and pay the bill in local tender from my own pocket. And I neither charge myself a changing fee nor any administrative costs--your entire purchase will go to its intended destination."

[sumarusfinest]

"That's...actually very kind of you." Maybe it's a culture thing? Katsuya wonders if maybe he's read this man wrong before. He'd been quite agitated at the time after all. He gives Verity the smallest of nods in greeting, and Schön can taste victory when the tension eases from the officer's shoulders. His world has very standard currency, so a 1000 yen note is produced quickly.

"Here. I'd be happy to help a school, even one from another dimension."


((At present, that's about 8.40 in US dollars, for anyone curious))

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Well, it is for charity," he purrs, lips curling up in a pleased smile. "Will that be one bar, or several? You have enough there for eight, and change."

((Very helpful, thank you.))

[sumarusfinest]

"Would it be acceptable if I only took two and just donated the remainder?" Katsuya loves sweet things. He can have one now and one later. Or one and give the other one to one of the many unsupervised kids that seem to be running around the Nexus lately.

Does he have jurisdiction to try and help them find their ways home? Hm. It's his duty to help those in need, after all. Just because there's an anti-violence field doesn't mean they won't get hungry, or cold, or scared. So responsible, Katsuya.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Quite acceptable, if that's the arrangement you'd like to make," Schön replies. "That's very generous of you, officer, thank you. And I hope you enjoy your chocolates."

[brave_heart_verity]

Verity's here, and she's not interfering, but she's not eating any of it either. She just gives him a smile and listens to the conversation for now.

[ixis]

"Oh, dearest Schön, is this what my competition has rendered your business practice to? Peddling penny sweets? How sad. Perhaps I will purchase out of pity."

He is here just to gloat and prod the bear, and his big grin makes that obvious.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"You would need to be capable of it, first," Schön counters. "But my business proceeds apace, and your purchasing habits are at your own discretion. But do feel free not to have any--it will leave more for those with the palate to appreciate it."

((Round five, ding-ding!))

[ixis]

"Rubbish! I've contracts growing by the day." He buffs his claw on his shirt, admiring it after doing so and looking remarkably smug. "Seems some people are more impressed with a crafter of portals, rather than one who just bloodhounds them." He snaps that claw once, grinning.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Capable of pity," he corrects, "and parsing a sentence, apparently."

"There will always be people more impressed by flash than substance, and favor convenience over quality. I congratulate you on finding them."

[ixis]

"Oh, well, that. Yes, I suppose that's debatable." He only pities when he knows it's going to royally piss off the person who's receiving it. Weaponized pity.

He strolls alongside the table, looking over the goods. "You don't strike me as the charitable type. I take it you have a whole gross of children now indebted to you? A bit of ghastly business, that. You should be more ethical with your choice of targets."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"My bargains are my own to make, Ixis." The tone of his voice drops a few degrees, even as it grows syrupy. "You would not wish me to describe the details of any bargains we might strike to all and sundry with a passing interest, hmm?"

The Buffy references make me beyond happy

[bestdadinamestris]

Hughes is always in the market for new sweets to bring home to his daughter. Sure, her mother doesn't always appreciate it because he ends up eating most of it himself, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right? And besides, it's for the children!

There's an air of skepticism as he approaches Schön's table when he notices Verity sitting off to the side without any candy in her hands. Word around the Nexus is that she's got a knack for discerning the truth and it worries him just a little that she's watching. He hesitates for a moment, his lips pulling into a thin line. The debate is real, folks. Does he trust his gut? Or...

Candy. Yes. He needs it.

"Tell me, fine sir," Hughes says as he steps up right in front of the table, "how much for a bar of chocolate?" He can just try one for himself while he's here and then decide if it's safe to bring home. What? He's taking one for the familial team!

I aim to please, and who doesn't love a classic?

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"One American dollar, sir," the silk-voiced man in the fine vest answers, "although I am happy to accept other currencies at their going value. Were you interested in just one, or perhaps thinking of gifts...?"

I don't know, but I feel sorry for those that don't!

[bestdadinamestris]

"I'm afraid I don't know what an American dollar is, but I have something that should work." He fishes out a couple of silver coins from his pocket, offering them to Schön. "The coins are all silver, but I'm afraid I don't know what that means for your exchange rate. And just one for now, thanks. If it's good, I'll come back for more."

Theirs is a sorrow of their own making. They will die angry, having missed everything cool.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

Schön accepts one of the coins, rolling it over the backs of his fingers to inspect both sides before tapping it once, lightly, against a horseshoe sitting on the table behind one of the displays. "Amestris silver? One of these will do nicely, sir, thank you, and I hope you enjoy."

Those poor, unfortunate souls.

[bestdadinamestris]

"Thanks. Hey, wait a second." How did he just-- "How do you know where this currency is from?" Hughes hasn't spoken with Schön before, so how does he know what kind of money it is?

He's not going to take his candy bar yet. This has the Intelligence officer very much on edge. No one's supposed to know more about what's going on in a place than him. Perhaps that's why Katsuya warned him about Schön?

In pain. In need.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"I make it a point to acquaint myself with a wide array of currencies," the thin man explains smoothly, "as my own transactional pursuits tend to be wide-ranging."