nexus_sages | At What Price Respect

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At What Price Respect

Verity in the forum? Not a strange sight. Verity without coffee? Rather less common. Verity slumping, exhausted, into a couch? Unusual. Verity covered in scrapes, bruises, and dust? Definitely strange.

"Help isn't if it's forced on someone. This is true. Someone not in possession of all of the facts cannot give fully informed consent. This is also true. But nobody can be forced to listen." Of course Verity has things on her mind. Who here doesn't? "How do you reconcile that? Is ignorance truly bliss? Or do you do what's needed to save someone despite their choices?"

((A note before you come to play with Verity: she's got a magic spell stuck in her that lets her always know when someone is lying to her. This includes sarcasm and knowing when someone believes something to be true when it isn't. This doesn't include lies of omission. She can also see through illusions. Please respect this; if your character is trying to lie to her, please make that known so she can react appropriately. [I completely understand this isn't going to be everyone's idea of fun.] Thanks.))

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Look who's here. A rather somber Jim Kirk grabs a chair, spins it around in one hand before slumping into it so he can lean against the back and watch Verity. There's plenty of questions he can ask. What happened? Are you hurt? Can I help?

Instead, he answers.

"If someone's important to you, then you do whatever it takes to save them. If they don't appreciate it, fine. You did everything you could to protect the most important people to you."

Jim gets a tired smile from her. She's sure he has so many questions, and she appreciates his holding off for now.

"So lying would be okay to you? Kidnapping? Killing someone's abusive husband?" That last one's rhetorical, but the way her voice waivers on the kidnapping idea... ahem. Must be something caught in her throat.

Pretty deep conversation. Something must have happened. Something big. She'll tell him when she's ready. Hell, he'll go get booze to talk over it, when that happens.

"Violating the Prime Directive to save someone's life, risking my career by lying on my reports, altering a planet, possibly starting a war, working with a known enemy....hurting the people I cared most for to save them....There's not much I haven't done to protect those I care about. So...I'm the last person to judge."

There's always been a lot going on with Verity if he stops and thinks about it. But he's been distracted by almost dying and finding his Iowa Bro, which is fair.

"That's. Quite a list." Okay, so she wasn't really expecting all of that. His drinking and fighting is one thing; his starting wars would be another. "Are they grateful?"

In his defense, he did everything he could to not start said war, but it probably is gonna happen anyway. In less of his defense, he would have totally started that war if his friends weren't awesome and talked him out of it.

"They're alive. And I think...they were grateful once I wasn't dead because of it."

Sometimes she forgets he's a military man because he's so not the captain of anything when they're hanging out.

She gives a thoughtful little nod. Talking more about him means less uncomfortable questions for her, so she is all for this. "I'm glad you're not dead too. Somebody needs to keep Clint out of trouble. Or have his back when it finds him anyway."

Sure he is, he is the Captain of Sexy Time. But, yeah no. He's really only adopted his Captain face once, and that was when the demons were rampaging around the Nexus. Here he's much more often just Jim.

This isn't exactly anything Jim's been hiding from anyone, but. It's not an easy subject to talk about by any means.

"Sometimes I wonder if.." No, don't finish that thought Jim. Stuff like this is why he doesn't usually talk about it. "I hope Clint's doing okay. Haven't seen him since I got hit." Jim very literally has peoples' backs when he's protecting them. It's just how he is.

"But I mean..." Don't forget why you started this ramble in the first place, Jim. "Whether they're grateful or not...it's not something I ever think about at the time. All I think is 'I will literally do whatever it takes to make sure you walk away from this alive."

Edited 2015-09-12 21:36 (UTC)

She'd rather he be himself with her. Honesty is too precious for her to give it up easily.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's probably busy making new trick arrows or something." She doesn't sound very worried. "Or maybe he decided it's finally time to clean his apartment." That'll be the day.

"They're lucky to be your friends." She had a friend like that once. Better not to think about him. She takes a breath, then pats the cushion beside her in wordless invitation. "Sometimes you wonder if...?"

He tries so hard to be around her. He just doesn't always succeed. Like now.

The way he makes himself smile, like everything is okay. 'It's fine' his face says, even as he obliges and goes to settle in next to Verity.

"Nah. It's nothing. Thinking out loud." He makes a show of throwing an arm over the back of the couch, settling it carefully around her shoulders, as though he's just there to comfort her.

Nobody succeeds all the time. Even Verity lies sometimes. (Canonically, most to her mom and a little kid, so she feels super great about that.)

She's obliging in that she curls up against his side, but that look she's giving him is not obliging at all. "Human lie detector, remember? Try again." He's not getting away with it, but she's not mad at him. Not yet. "Would it help if I promise not to tell anyone?"

He thinks he's managed to dodge the bullet riiight up until she looks at him again. Aw. Dang.

"....Yeah I was kind of hoping I'd stopped myself quick enough for a loophole." Oh well. Might as well get this over with. He takes a deep breath, stares out across the Nexus so he doesn't have to see her reaction to this.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm supposed to be dead. If things would be better that way."

Nobody likes to see her angry face.

"No. Nothing would be better that way. Not anything worthwhile. Don't even say that!" She is going to double down on that cuddling now since he's being dumb. It seems like a better idea than smacking him, but that's still an option.

"I don't mean in a 'fishing for compliments' kind of way. You don't...You have to be dead to understand." Jim sighs but he wraps the arm he has around her tighter as though to reassure him he's still there.

"I'm not suicidal. But I was fucked up before I died. Now it's just compounded. I should still be dead. I felt it happening. And trying to rationalize being alive again...sometimes nothing feels real."

She's right there, Jim, for as long as you need her to be. She's not going anywhere. And if she's there, he must be too.

Maybe he's right. Maybe only people who've been through that will understand. She doesn't, not really, but she's trying to. "Did you not want to come back?" She hasn't given much thought to what comes after, or more specifically, which afterlife she'll go to when it's her time. But she's heard some of them are nice, and he deserves a nice one.

He was a touchy kind of person before he died too. Now part of it makes a bit more sense. It's how he knows he's still alive. And not dreaming. God his dreams are beyond fucked up now.

"I didn't want to die. But I accepted it. Waking up again...after. I don't know." He settles on that because anything else would feel like a lie. "...I only went back to the ship the one time. To get you guys your gifts. I haven't been back since." As long as they're coming clean about things, this should be one of them.

"The door back....it's where I died. I can't tell the others about it because it's fucked up enough without them having to relive that. And I haven't gone back because...I don't want to see it, either. Been living here mostly, eating in the commercial district and crashing on couches."

There's someone around here who fixes dreams. Verity could arrange an introduction.

She's worried by these revelations, of course, but is glad he trusts her with them. "I'm sorry. I don't think I'd be brave enough to go back at all." No judgment there, just hugs. "Would it help if someone went with you to the door? I wouldn't mind being your escort. I'm sure Clint would go too." Safety in numbers?

It's complicated. He's met the guy once, but he doesn't want anyone else to see his dreams. To be able to see who he thinks he is, deep down.

"Went back with Schon the one time. He helped me out, made it so I wasn't afraid." It's telling that he doesn't immediately brush the offer for help off. Accepting help has never been something he's good at, but. Well.

"Yeah, that might....That might work. You guys don't...don't have those memories. It wouldn't be upsetting for you to see it."

She didn't take the guy up on his offer either.

Schon and his magic get a little smirk from her. He's so nice when he thinks he's going to profit from it. "Not as upsetting. We can go whenever you're ready. And until then, why not go stay with Clint again? He likes having you around."

No pressure. Just a few ideas and her friendship. It's not much.

For better or worse, Jim thinks Schon is good people. He just assumed Schon was into him. It wouldn't be the first time and Jim's not one to judge.

"Ah, maybe. If he wanted me around again. I don't want to be a burden." Or have more people than necessary know he's bumming in the Nexus because he's afraid to use a door.

Verity's pretty sure Schon is favor-sexual. And there's nothing wrong with that.

"He was pretty bummed when you left last time," she points out. "So I'm pretty sure he'd say yes if you asked. You could help him figure things out with his girlfriend." What did that poor woman ever do to Verity to deserve such a suggestion.

"I'd offer my place, but I'm staying with a friend right now and... that would get awkward." Don't ask please don't ask.

"Really? Well, I mean. Maybe. His brother's in town now, pretty sure. So I'd probably be in the way." For a guy who is sex on legs and all confidence, Jim really does have a low opinion of himself, doesn't he?

There's the grin she missed. Wait, no now is not the time for that grin James. Put that away.

"Ooooh. I get it. You're shacking up with whats his face." Who? He wouldn't be this happy if he knew. "So. You and Officer Candyass then?" Up go those eyebrows. Waggle, waggle.

"I think he likes you better than his brother. And really, if there are two Bartons in the same time zone, they definitely need looking after." And she is sure as hell not doing it.

Oh god, that grin. And now she's blushing. "No. I'm not staying with Katsuya. I think if anyone ever suggested that he'd faint. You have a dirty mind."

"I could relate." Jim likes Clint a hell of a lot better than Sam. Clint hasn't abandoned him. Yet.

Aha! Jim knew there was something there.

"Why not? He's totally doable. He's gay, is that it?"

She has no siblings, not even cousins that she's met, so she can't relate at all.

"What, jealous he wasn't paying you enough attention? Pale and bleeding isn't your best look, even if it does keep working on me." She's not so flustered she can't tease him right back.

Jim would tell her its a good thing. The less people in your life, the less you have that will abandon you.

"Me? Nah, he's not my type. I mean if he was offering I wouldn't say no, but I'm not gonna make an effort on someone like that. I didn't know stiff and uptight was your weakness. Remind me not to introduce you to Spock. His girlfriend might get jealous."

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Icon feeeeeels. :(

Needed them for just such a topic

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