nexus_sages | Sometimes, lying isn't an option

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Sometimes, lying isn't an option

The Nexus' resident rogue seems to be in a strange mood today as she paces along one of the main streets of the Forum. Despite her rather severe expression, she seems to be in better spirits than the last time she asked a question, if the lack of weapons has anything to say about it. True, she's still sporting a few daggers and her slingshot, but that appears to be all. She also lacks the chest armor she normally wears over her shirt and corset, though the very modest neckline of her shirt should keep anyone from suspecting she's trying some new angle on them. Something seems amiss, though. While she paces, her gaze is fixed on the paved street under her feet and her hands are clasped firmly together behind her back.

After a few minutes of this she stops in her pacing and looks up to the Forum at large.

"I'm not very good at being honest about certain things, and that makes it difficult to get my point across when I am telling the truth." A small frown plays at her lips and her brow furrows with thought. This is a much more difficult topic for her than for others, it seems. "How do I convince someone that the apology I owe them is honest? That it comes not from a need to buy my way into their good graces, but from an honest need to make things right?" Because she's going to need this kind of help when she actually gets around to the owed apology.

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Oh, look, someone she owes an apology to giving her advice. That's not awkward. Not one bit.

"My life is centered around what I can make people believe, which is what makes this all the more difficult for me." Not the fact that she's never honestly apologized to anyone ever before. Nope. That's totally a non-issue.

She gently folds her arms in front of her chest and cups her elbows, her gaze slipping from his face to the ground in front of his feet. There's a rather long silence before she speaks again. Even then, her voice is quite soft. "I don't suppose there's any way we could forget the fact that I brought up such a terrible subject when last we met? Had I known talking about where you come from was going to cause such trouble, I would never have spoken of it. It was never my intention to dredge up a topic that made you so uncomfortable."

...is she saying 'sorry' without actually saying it?

Yes. Yes she is.

"I hear you there." Jim actually chuckles, though whether it's with her or at her is anyone's guess. "Doesn't change the fact that if someone is determined to think or feel a way, you can't force it. They either forgive you or they don't. but it's their call. If they're worth it, work on it despite the fact. If they're not...and most people aren't...you just move on. What do you care anyway? Your life is lying to people. Find someone else to lie to."

Jim doesn't really mince words. Then again. it takes a liar to know one. He doesn't sound angry. Just honest. ...About..lying.

"...What?" He..seriously doesn't remember this. Or didn't leave an impression deep enough to affect him for long. "Whatever, don't worry about it. It's water under the bridge. See? easy. now you can keep lying to me and I'll keep pretending I buy it."

She's not going to respond to that first part. That cuts a little closer to home than she wants it to and if she opens her mouth, she's going to let him have it. Best to keep it inside ~~for now~~.

Is that how Jim wants to play this out? If so, game on.

"Is that so?" She regains her composure awfully fast and when her eyes meet his again, there's mischief there. Her hands settle at her sides and she takes a steps closer. "Then if what you said before was true, I want to take you up on that offer." Another step. "That one where you said I could see your ship." One last step and she's right in front of him.

A slow smirk plays at her lips as she leans up and whispers, "Show me the stars, Jim."

"Nnnope." He pops the 'p' when he says that for that extra bit of sass. Amelia does not know life aboard the USS Sassterprise. Bones and Spock would disassemble her in a minute.

"Not happening, sorry." He gives her a brilliantly charming grin, taking half a step back.

That smirk quickly disappears into a frown. She looks honestly upset, but can that be taken as is from a professional liar?

"Are you saying you lied to me before, about bringing others back to your ship? Because that seems like a harsh thing to do to someone you just met. That's hardly a fair thing to tease someone about." Her brow furrows and her lips draw into a thin line.

"However, if you worry about my not knowing the technology which your world uses, I'm sure you'll find me in a much better place than when last we met. Give me a few days and the right literature and I'm certain I could get close enough. I've been... busy the last few weeks and have gotten used to many new things." She raises an eyebrow at him as she crosses her arms in front of her chest again. If he's not paying attention, though, he'll miss the wink.

"That was when I was trying to flirt with you." Jim concedes, smile curling upward somewhat. He's pretty confident and he doesn't try to hide his intentions. "You're easy on the eyes and fit, it wasn't a difficult sell on me honestly."

His arms fold in front of his chest mirroring her own actions.

"But, you're too much trouble, and not worth the effort. Plus, i'm getting the distinct impression something might go missing if I invited you around." Smirk.

Amelia shrugs nonchalantly, turning away from him slightly as she regards him. "I'm not one to steal for myself. Fine things and unique items are easily obtained through proper channels. If I wanted something from your ship, I'd ask nicely and barter for it." A thief who's not a kleptomaniac? How is this possible?

"Besides, the only thing I could possibly want from your ship is the view, and I can't steal the sky through which it soars." Have that smirk thrown right back at you, Jim Kirk. Two can play this game.

"Wasn't the whole point of this conversation about how you're shit at being a friend? I feel like I should point out that you're using me as a distraction from your actual problem." Jim shakes his head and sighs.

This isn't a game. Or if it is, it's not any fun.

"Listen, this friend. If apologizing and owning up isn't your thing, just walk away and let him seek you out if he wants to rebuild what's damaged. The Nexus is a meeting point of tons of worlds. No one's judging you. Maybe this guy's a dick. Deserved it. Even if he didn't, it's one person in a sea of literally billions. It doesn't matter."

Jim is the worst person to talk to about relationships. Or the best, depending on your level of twisted world views.

"The real question is, can your pride handle someone knowing the truth? Knowing you're not what you make others believe you to be? Are you asking for his forgiveness or satisfying your own ego? No judgments here, like I said. It's got nothing to do with me."

Not to mention Jim is just as guilty of lashing out at people he cares about. If he cuts them off, they can't ever get too close.

Edited 2015-10-10 07:41 (UTC)

"For someone as full of himself and light of heart as you, you seem to be awfully good at manipulating people." Her tone is flat and seething. Seems Jim has hit a nerve. "You're not judging me? I call bullshit. You wouldn't point out a person's flaws if you weren't counting them over in your head." Her hands curl into loose fists at her sides.

"I don't offer apologies to those who don't deserve them. Don't ask for forgiveness unless I've done something truly wrong. I have done many things to stain my hands, but I do that willingly, knowing exactly what I'm getting myself into. I am who I make others believe me to be. They believe me to be a simple merchant's daughter? I am. They think me a thief? I'm that, too. They find me dressed as a lady in all the proper finery? I will be that lady down to the very last detail. No one is better at being what they say they are than I am."

She shifts her stance slightly, brings her feet just slightly closer together, and seems to grow a foot. The overwhelming amount of anger dripping from her every feature is enough to stop any of her world's most fierce warriors in their tracks. Not that she expects it to stop Jim Kirk. No, she expects him to pull out that winning smile to try and diffuse the situation - and to fail.

"Anything else you'd like to accuse me of while I'm standing here?"

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, as Sam used to say. Funny, Jim thinking about Sam at a time like this.

He does smile, but it isn't the radiant charming grin she expects. It's sympathetic.

"Still dodging the problem of that friend. And I have to be good at manipulating people. it's kind of my job. Only, I do it to keep my crew and planet alive. Not just for kicks." He doesn't deny that he does it for kicks too. He's really not trying to be superior.

He's trying to empathize.

"But if you're going to forget about apologizing and forget him, I suppose avoiding it would work as a solution. Good luck with that." Jim's kinda sad that this lady's reaction to everything is to spit venom and make herself larger, like a cat.

A...venomous cat. Whatever. Jim can turn and leave, raising one hand in a farewell without so much as glancing back. Or at least getting some space between them so she can cool her jets.

She's not avoiding the talk of apologizing. He said his piece and she heard it loud and clear. End of story. But if he's going to attack her, then she's going to answer in kind.

"Don't act like you're better than I am," she calls after him. "You may claim that you only do it for your crew and your world, but that doesn't make it true. And you sure as hell can't make assumptions about me and mine. You know nothing about me."

Except, he knows everything, just as she knows everything about him.

Two peas from two different worlds in the same pod. No wonder they can't find enough common ground to keep a conversation going for more than a few minutes without it falling apart.

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Sometimes, lying isn't an option

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