nexus_sages | Sometimes, lying isn't an option

The Nexus' resident rogue seems to be in a strange mood today as she paces along one of the main streets of the Forum. Despite her rather severe expression, she seems to be in better spirits than the last time she asked a question, if the lack of weapons has anything to say about it. True, she's still sporting a few daggers and her slingshot, but that appears to be all. She also lacks the chest armor she normally wears over her shirt and corset, though the very modest neckline of her shirt should keep anyone from suspecting she's trying some new angle on them. Something seems amiss, though. While she paces, her gaze is fixed on the paved street under her feet and her hands are clasped firmly together behind her back.

After a few minutes of this she stops in her pacing and looks up to the Forum at large.

"I'm not very good at being honest about certain things, and that makes it difficult to get my point across when I am telling the truth." A small frown plays at her lips and her brow furrows with thought. This is a much more difficult topic for her than for others, it seems. "How do I convince someone that the apology I owe them is honest? That it comes not from a need to buy my way into their good graces, but from an honest need to make things right?" Because she's going to need this kind of help when she actually gets around to the owed apology.

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Amelia. Stop. Verity's dealing with the death of her world. Don't overreact to this. It's not as bad as you think it is. Take a moment to think before--

She looks up at Verity suddenly with fiery eyes. "Look, you are the one who brought the idea to Schön. You are the one who got me brought into this. I hit every place on his list and called it good. But when an opportunity presented itself to get something of value to give to Viatorus as a gesture of good faith and a "I'm sorry I fucked up" gift, I took it. Like I've said before, I don't steal for myself. Nothing I did on this trip was for me. I couldn't care less about the art or the jewels or the weapons. I don't have a use for any of it."

...or, you know, you could run your mouth like a moron. Just like you did with Viatorus.

Seems she's going to need to apologize to Verity before this conversation is over, too.

Oh dear. That was not a great reaction. Neither is this.

"No? You're only planning to bribe my friend into giving you a second chance because he's too nice to say no. That's selfish, Amelia. That's what you are. Fucking selfish." She throws her coffee cup in the trash on her way out and it's not even empty. "And the worst part is, even if I warn him he's probably still going to give you a second chance and I'm going to have to watch you hurt him the way you hurt everyone else."

Peas in a pod, these two.

But at least Verity has the sense to try to walk away?

Amelia's quick to her feet and squared off at Verity's back in a single breath.

"What the fuck would you know about me? I've told you nothing and not without good reason." Her grip on the coffee cup in has the hot liquid spilling, seemingly unnoticed, out all over her hand. "But you... you're so fucking scared of facing the truth that you so plainly see in the world around you that you miss the point of life. You hide from the world, coming out only when absolutely necessary. If you gave a damn about anything, about anyone, you would own up to the fact that your selfish need to avoid people and their bullshit has made you cynical and childish in your desire to avoid conflict but still be comforted by all of those people you try and push away." She throws the half full coffee cup and Verity's feet, purposely missing but getting close enough to get the woman's attention. "At least when I push someone away, I fucking own up to it! At least when I want someone to go away I won't try and draw them back in. I can handle living alone for the rest of my life - can you?!"

Those last quips about herself have Verity's head ringing. Amelia may push people away, but she certainly doesn't always own up to it, she certainly will draw them back in if she finds she needs them, and she could never live the rest of her life alone, even if she believes she could.

Pot calling kettle.

Jim completely understands Amelia's actions up to this point. He gets the defensive reaction, gets the need to lie and hide behind bravado. Even gets the selfishness. But getting physically violent toward someone else is proooobably not a good idea AV field or no.

Especially if it's Big Sis Verity.

Jim walks in between the fight like it isn't happening, scooping Verity up and into one arm wound tight around her waist, turning her abruptly away from Amelia.

"Ver! I've been looking everywhere for you. So I'm an idiot--I just realized I don't have to use replicated coffee if I can just pop in and go grocery shopping. Any recommendations for something I can keep in my quarters? Let me take you out for breakfast as an apology for intruding on your time..."

He leaves no space for argument, pulling Verity along and walking from Amelia with not so much as a harsh word. He just ignores her. Up until he pulls an apple out of his shopping bag and tosses it backwards, not even glancing back to look at it as it lands on the cushion of the couch near where the girls had been gathering until the insults started flying.

Verity had been planning to just walk away, even after the coffee throwing. Amelia is selfish and childish but she's also dead wrong about just about everything, and Verity's never been one to argue long with people like that. Jim coming out of left field was unexpected, but not unwelcome. She doesn't answer right away, but she's not arguing with him or resisting.

Until the apple.

"Don't encourage her."

There's a long moment where Amelia stares at the apple where it landed on a nearby table, where she debates taking it and throwing it at the back of his smug head. Debates yelling and screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs until her voice is raw. But then she looks up at Jim and Verity as they walk away, sees them close and comfortable...

And she sees something completely different.

She sees distant family members, distant friends. Close, comfortable, happy... together. All those things she never was, and apparently never will be. Not with them, not with anyone.

She picks up the apple and takes a bite, completely ignoring the tears in her eyes, the physical pain that comes from the action. And once Jim and Verity are out of sight, she'll run, apple in hand, as far and as fast as she can.

Edited (Because adding the feels) 2015-10-10 18:58 (UTC)

"Sometimes everyone needs a hard disengage. A time out to think about their actions." Jim shrugs and when he's reasonably sure Amelia isn't following them with a knife between her teeth or something he'll let go of his grip on Verity's waist and drop to a more casual stroll.

"I did seriously just realize I could use the Nexus for real coffee. I want to get something small for my quarters. Probably can't be anything like Clint has." He means with a cord and relying on the wattage and wiring of the 21st century. "Help a guy out?"

There's a moment where she seems to be building up like a thunderhead to unleash on whoever's dumb enough to be in her way, but it doesn't last. She slumps against Jim's side instead, half exhausted and half relieved that the fight is over. He maybe doesn't want to let go of her entirely just yet. "Yeah. That's what big sisters are for, right? I'm sure we can figure something out. If I can learn how to make coffee without electricity, so can you."

Sometimes, lying isn't an option

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