a helpful hand.

[bornstrong]

Maybe it's the fact that she's recently learned how to cook here in the Nexus, or maybe it's just that the whole royalty thing doesn't hold much weight any longer, but Iphigenia has (surprise, surprise) a question for anyone in the Forum who will listen.

"How do you determine if you are useful or not?"

She pauses a moment, half-regretting her wording. This isn't coming out right.

"What I mean to say--or ask, rather--is: what is helpful to you, coming from others? And do you let people help you in the first place?"

Comments

[brave_heart_verity]

"Wow, you really don't care about the easy ones, do you?" Heyyyy Iphi. She'll be kind and skip the first question for now. That's not emotional territory she's ready to discuss in public right now.

"What's helpful depends on the situation. There has to be a need, or a want, and also a willingness to accept the help. Sometimes that last part is hard to remember..." She trails off, folding her arms and rubbing her thumb against the inside of her left elbow. "Sometimes. Sometimes I'd rather do it myself. Sometimes the things people offer as 'help' aren't anything I want."

[bornstrong]

"I want to make my questions count, I suppose," Iphigenia says, smiling sheepishly.

"But yes," she continues, nodding. "I think I know what you mean. There were times--I mean, back home--when I didn't want help, and didn't even ask for it, but people offered it anyway."

She shrugs.

"But they were being kind, in their own way, so I appreciated it."

[brave_heart_verity]

"There's not a limit, you know," she points out, hoping it'll be reassuring. "Pretty sure the Nexus cops aren't going to come fine you if you go over. Because they don't exist."

"You're kinder than I am." She has just enough awareness of what a princess is in fairy tales to imagine Iphi wouldn't have had to do much of anything for herself. "How have you been doing? I'm sorry I haven't been around as much... things... got difficult for a while."

[bornstrong]

"I don't think I'm kinder than you. I'm just more practiced at courtesies."

But she smiles again, and this time, it's not the embarrassed kind.

"I've been well." She looks at Verity a moment, concerned.

"Are you doing all right?"

[brave_heart_verity]

"That's also true." Verity relaxes slowly when she sees Iphi isn't so embarrassed anymore.

"I'll be okay. It takes time to come to terms with death. I've never really had to before, all my grandparents were dead before I was old enough to know them and I didn't have a lot of relatives around... that probably sounds strange to you."

[bornstrong]

"It does, a little," she admits, still listening. "But a loss is still a loss, regardless. It's always--hard."

She thinks of her own mother for a moment, and how she must miss Iphigenia. A little lump forms in her throat, but she takes a deep breath and it goes away, thankfully.

"You--if you don't wish to talk in detail about it, I understand."

[brave_heart_verity]

Verity recognizes that look, the sudden hard swallowing. Neither of them wants to deal with this. "It's not that I don't want to so much as... I don't have the words to yet. Maybe when I understand the shape and scope of it better." She can offer a small grateful smile for the kindness.

"So what have you been up to while you've been here?"

[bornstrong]

Iphigenia nods, understanding. It takes time, she thinks. It always does.

"Well," she begins, trying to sound cheerier, "I've been trying to become more independent. In a way." She laughs a little. "I can make porridge now."

[brave_heart_verity]

Time and good changes of subject. "That's a good start. You'll be making all kinds of things in no time, I bet. How does it feel to be independent?"

[rogueinladysclothing]

"You have impeccable timing with questions I should be thinking about anyway." Hey Iphigenia. Have a rogue who's... dressed down today? Instead of the armor and weapons she was wearing when last they met, Amelia's sporting a very simple navy blue silk dress that rustles softly on the ground as she approaches. The outfit may be different, but everything else remains the same.

"To be honest, I'm not very good at letting myself accept help. I take it when I have to, and it's usually only when there's no way for me to handle something on my own." She shakes her head a bit and takes a seat on one of the couches, setting aside the messenger bag she's been carrying. "But... I'm working on that. Everyone needs help from time to time - it's a matter of finding the right kind of help. In my case, what's most helpful tends to be the help I don't know I need at first. Does that... make any sense?"

[bornstrong]

"I think that does make sense," she replies, smiling at Amelia, glad to see another friendly face. "Sometimes you don't realize you need something until, well, it's almost too late. And it is then that you are the most grateful."

[rogueinladysclothing]

"I think you said it more eloquently that I possibly could have. Perhaps, though, my own fall is so recent that finding the words is as difficult as finding my feet right now." She motions for Iphigenia to sit. No need to stand if they're going to have a conversation as deep as this one.

"I've answered your second set of questions... did you still want an answer to the first?" There's a bit of hesitation as she asks that, but Amelia's not trying to bait Iphigenia into anything. If she says 'no,' Amelia will be fine with moving on.

[bornstrong]

She sits next to Amelia, looking down a moment before responding.

"I think I do," Iphigenia replies. "I want to be useful, for one thing, and I cannot determine yet if I am or not."

[rogueinladysclothing]

"Every person must determine for themselves what makes them useful," Amelia says softly.

It takes her a moment to gather her thoughts before she continues. "Back home, I did many things for many people. I ran my family's business, helped people out of dangerous situations, acquired items that some thought impossible to obtain, took out the competition if someone asked me to." She doesn't sound particularly proud of that last admission. "All of these things were useful to other people in some way. They asked for help and I gave it to them. But only when I was doing something that I thought was worthy did I ever feel helpful. And even then, my efforts weren't always appreciated."

Amelia frowns as she shifts her gaze from Iphigenia to the ground in front of her feet. "In the end, you have to learn how to measure yourself. If you let yourself be measured by others, you will never feel complete. If you measure yourself by the impact of your actions, you may feel like you can never do enough. But if you do what you think is right, if you offer what you can to others as you're able, and measure yourself based on how much of yourself you're putting into your actions, then you can begin to find a balance."

[bornstrong]

"You sound like you've thought this through," she says, her voice soft. "I thought I was being useful to my father and his army, back home, when I agreed to willingly die for my country, for the war. But now that I'm here, I'm not so certain I'm very useful at all."

She bites her lip, thinking.

"Maybe you're right. There needs to be a balance. And I'm still learning."

[rogueinladysclothing]

Amelia's quiet for a minute before she speaks. "I did a terrible thing. I hurt a lot of people and made myself truly alone. I had to think about these things. I had to take time to really figure out what I want from life." She sighs softly. "I'm still figuring it out and I have a long way to go until I'm ready to say I'm the person I want to be. But I've made the effort to start, and that's an important thing to have done."

There's another long pause, during which Amelia plays with the hem of one of her sleeves. "Everyone is learning all the time. There's no easy balance and anyone who says they've figured it out without effort is lying. The difference is that those of us who have to begin again have the most clarity in finding our balance."

[bornstrong]

"And I too have had to begin again--here, I mean."

She looks down, grimacing.

"I have had no other choice. But I'm still grateful."

She is grateful, but it's something Iphigenia is still wrestling with emotionally.

[smartass_captain]

"That depends on your definition of useful, Princess." Captain Kirk can never resist a lady's questions for long. Doubly so when it's Iphigenia.

"Having a bit of trouble with your new found freedom?"

[bornstrong]

"I suppose I am," she admits, a bit bashful. "It's overwhelming, truthfully."

She looks at him and smiles.

"And tell me, what is your definition of useful?"

[smartass_captain]

"Anything that staves off boredom." His answer may seem strange to Iphi, but Jim seems sincere. "Before I found a purpose in Starfleet, that was literally all I lived for. Didn't matter if an idea or a hobby was a good or bad one, if it seemed interesting, I'd try it."

Jim looks thoughtful before giving her a grin.

"We should find you a hobby. You're more likely to find something you want to do if you experiment with new ways to pass the time."

[bornstrong]

"A hobby?" She looks amused. "And what would be a good hobby for me, do you think?"

[smartass_captain]

"You like the outdoors." Jim points out, taking a seat on one of the nearby Nexus couches. On one end in case she feels like sitting as well.

"You could take up gardening? I'm sure no one would mind the Park district looking even nicer. Or a sport. Tennis? Golf? There's plenty to do."

[bornstrong]

She sits down, then, not quite next to him. Propriety and all that.

"I do, yes," she agrees. "I've never considered gardening, but I might like it."

[smartass_captain]

"There's plenty of places you could get started. There's a library where you could read about basics, and if you decide to do it, I know of a good botany shop in the commercial district I could take you to."

Jim wants the princess to find a place for herself in the Nexus/ If that's selling home grown fruit/vegetables/flowers at a stall or shop, then awesome. But if not, she'll at least have an idea of how to go about trying new things until she finds what's right for her.

[bornstrong]

"I think the library would be a good start," she replies. "It will give me more ideas."