nexus_sages | First Rule of Thievery

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First Rule of Thievery

It was a lovely day out in the forum. It was nice and sunny, people were going about their business, relaxing or meeting up with friends. A man was having a spirited conversation with a large rock...

No you're not seeing things.

He looked like he just stepped off the set of Lord of the the Rings (save for a pair of sunglasses that he certainly acquired legally and didn't just carefully pluck off the face of someone who had carelessly fallen asleep on a random couch). He'd pulled a chair, next to a large rock shaped like.. well... most people might say it looked like a rather fetching pair of buttocks. This would be the rock Eli was currently deeply engaged in conversation with.

"Oh that's just terrible! I can't believe they'd call such a fine boulder such as yourself something so offensive," he exclaimed, giving it a sympathetic pat.

"I know! 'Butt-rock'... they never even ask for my name..." the rock sighed.

Now the general populace probably wouldn't hear the rock's reply. No, only those who either worked magic themselves or maybe those who communicated regularly with spirits or ghosts or the like would be able to hear the rock spirit speak. To anyone else? Eli probably looked as if he was just having a crazy one sided conversation with a local landmark.

"To be fair you DO look like one," the thief pointed out after taking a sip of his drink. He had no idea what it was, but it was cold and creamy and had strawberries and bananas in it. He wondered if he could sweet talk the vendor into giving him another freebie.

"There's nothing I can do about that," if rocks could sulk, this one certainly was.

"Oh I think you could! You just have to try it, go on, just move around a little," Eli gave the rock an encouraging pat on the back.

"You think so...?"

Amazingly enough the rock did begin to move. It shuddered first, and the shape then began to slowly shift, accompanied with the loud crunching sound of grinding stone.

"There you go!" Eli grinned and saluted the rock with his delicious fruity drink, "I told you you could do it."

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((I can't remember how much of this came up before, so: Ver's got a truth-sensing curse stuck in her that she can't turn off. She knows when people are lying and she can see through illusions; she doesn't know what the truth is or have psychic powers. More details here.))

Verity had been trying to have a normal day.

Verity lives in the Nexus. What was she thinking?

It's an amusing show, at least, so she's been watching this new fellow talking to a rock for the last few minutes. It might look like she's just taking a chance to enjoy her own drink, all cinnamon and coffee and delish, except for that face she's making. And especially that face she's making when the rock starts to move.

"What just happened?"

"Hmm...?" Eli shifted his attention from the rock.

"AH! You must be talking about new friend here?" he gestured to the boulder which was still moving, it kind of gave off the impression of someone stretching after waking up from a nap.

"Well I was just chatting with it and it was very distraught because people kept calling it the Butt-rock of all things," he sighed and shook his head sadly as if he could scarcely believe the audacity of it all himself.

"So I just recommended that it change," his voice turned instantly cheerful and grinned as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Edited 2016-03-14 01:50 (UTC)

It takes a moment for her to drag her attention away from the moving rock to focus on Eli properly.

"I... okay. That's a lot of words that all technically make sense. And yet. I've never seen the rocks here move like that before." But it's not entirely outside the bounds of possibility, she has to remind herself. So she redoubles her focus on Eli, head tilted a few degrees to the side while she considers him. The clothes suggest the sort of world where inexplicable power means magic, not technology. The inverse of Clarke's Third.

It's not the first time she's seen that kind of thing around here, broadly, even if this particular trick is new. "What do you call that kind of magic?"

The rock wiggles just a moment or two more and if you could imagine it giving a contented sigh, then it certainly did just that.

"What kind? The only kind I'm familiar with," He leaned forward in his seat, curios eyes peeking over the top of his pilfered shades. Were there different sorts? Of course some people utilized their power differently, or had more skill then others... but it was all essentially the same.

"Waking up spirits. Some people call it spiritualism, I just call it being friendly," and when you're a thief it always pays to have friends scattered around field and forest.

Verity's imagination isn't as rich and full as some other people's. On the other hand, she's friends with Groot. She doesn't need an imagination to believe things are possible.

"Waking up spirits. Hmm." Sounds like hippie nonsense. Next thing you know, someone's going to tell her there's a good reason for hipsters to grow those beards. "You must be really friendly, getting results like that."

Her gaze drifts back to the now-settled rock for a moment. "New here?"

"Both people and spirits alike tend to find me irresistibly charming," he winked before pushing the sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose. And well... most found him charming. Then there were the nobles he robbed blind, merchants he talked circles around, guards who shot him, bounty hunters who shot at him more, and his own closest friends who found him exasperating in the best of times.

"And you are correct!" He nodded and went to take a sip of his strawberry banana whatever, only to frown briefly upon realizing he was empty, "I actually received a lovely explanation of the place from that delightful sign."

"Oh, do they?" She's amused by the claim, even if they both know it's a lie. But then, is it? A person can have a duty to shoot the charming thief and might sometimes prioritize it over the chance at drinks later.

It was easier when she didn't think about these things too much.

"That deli... did you hit your head when you got here?" That's the only possible explanation.

"Why do people always ask me that?" he huffed and leaned back in his chair, stowing his empty cup in the convenient holder on the arm. Even people who knew the way his brand of magic worked thought he was a little touched in the head. Granted he was more then mildly eccentric even by his world's standards.

"For your next questions I'm also completely sober and I haven't eaten any suspicious looking mushrooms," he helpfully provided with a dramatic wave of his hand, "I'm just very friendly! And honestly, what better to get pertinent information about a place then a welcoming sign?"

"I've watched a number of people arrive here via falling out of the sky," she points out dryly. "It's an entirely relevant question." From her point of view, anyway. But also, that sign. Did he not see it?

Wait. Maybe he's colorblind.

"That's good, because sometimes the food here is magic and screws with you." She glances at his now-empty cup before continuing. "Have you read the brochure?"

Of course he saw the sign! He also loved the gaudy thing to bits. New best friend! Probably said a lot about him and his taste level really but he was always fascinated by the weird and outlandish.

"I can safely assure you my skull is whole and uncracked," literally at least, it was still up for debated on whether or not he was figuratively cracked.

He pats down his vest and pulls a folded brochure out, "This is what you're talking about I presume?" He smoothed the paper out, "I looked over but it seems almost like a joke? Time is squishy? LOLs? Not all of it's making a whole lot of sense as interesting as it all seems."

Says the man who was talking to a rock.

The sign deserves to feel loved, too. ~~She hopes it doesn't tell Eli about the time she and Han used it for target practice.~~

"Good, good." Figurative issues are beyond her ability to fix and usually she doesn't ask until further into the relationship.

"I know it sounds strange, but it's all true. All of it." She's dead certain about that. "As for making sense, this place doesn't always. It's part of the local charm."

The white-scaled lizard-man passing by missed the conversation, but the grinding of stone demands attention, and so he gives it a curious glance.

"Eh? What is this?" Noticing a human of some sort sitting near the stone, the blue-robed lizard asks, "did you do this?"

"Me? Of course not!" he laughed and waved with his free hand as if that was the craziest question in the world, "The rock was more then capable of moving on it's own after a little friendly encouragement."

His eyebrows raise a fraction of an inch after looking robed person over. Scales! Like a small humanoid dragon... Or a lizard but dragon sounds so much more dramatic.Either way, how fascinating!

"Was it?" Pink eyes blink twice in quick succession, and the hooded head tilts to one side slightly as it watches the stone move. "I admit, that has not been the case in my experience. Might I ask after the manner of your encouragement?" The voice is light but raspy, with a timbre that suggests a young male, developmentally comparable to a human in their early twenties.

"Well I was very polite," he replied helpfully, pausing a moment to take a sip, "I mean the poor thing was just so sulky! Apparently everyone's been calling it Butt-rock. Can you believe that?"

He shakes his head as the rock beside him seems to finally begin to settle down into a more personally appealing shape.

"I think I would express greater incredulity," the lizard speculates, "if I knew less of people." His expression grows thoughtful for a moment, before the lizard turns to address the rock: "if I have ever given you offense, Sir or Madam Rock, I do sincerely apologize, as such was not my intent."

"Is... okaaay..." the ruck shuddered one final time, accompanied by one last grinding sound, almost like it was yawning.

"Oh... looks like it's back to nap time," Eli leaned forward and ran a hand down the no longer a Butt-rock's side, It was entirely still and gave no indication of responding any further for the moment at least, "Rock spirits always have a hard time staying awake for any length of time."

"That quality, at least, I have observed in the stones of my native land," the lizard remarks wryly. "Is it by magic that you communicate with the spirit of the stone?" In some contexts, the fine robes and the staff slung across the white lizard's back would scream "magic guy," but such indicators are not always fully multiversal.

"Ah, but my manners--please pardon me. My name is Shade-Seeker; I am something of a mage, myself."

A mage huh? Where Eli's friend, mages, wizards, sorcerers, or whatever else you want to call them tend to wear a lot of jewelry. Mostly rings, sometimes bracelets or pendents but always gaudy. They housed the spirits they kept as servants.

"Pleasure meeting you Shade!" he grinned and saluted him with his smoothie, "Eli Monpress. Don't mistake me for a wizard though, I'm but a humble thief."

Opposite of humble technically.

This mage isn't quite an exception to that rule; a ring glints on each hand, and a pendant hangs around his neck with the soul of an angry demigod trapped within--long story.

He blanches a little at the shortening of his name, insisting politely, "Shade-Seeker, please, and I am pleased to meet you as well. I shall accept you as you wish to present yourself, if you like. It is my experience, however, that people are like a still lake on a sunny day--one cannot guess at the depths from the surface."

Sounds like a story worth hearing.

"Mister Shade-Seeker then," the corners of his lips tilt up mischievously. Well there's a nice simple way to annoy a person should the need ever arise.

"You're somewhat of a cryptic sort," Eli's smile doesn't falter though a certain distant look briefly passes over his features before it's replaced with good cheer once again, "Sometimes a puddle is just a puddle though. As far as I know there aren't any rules about that say a thief can't be a magical one."

"Am I? Such is not my intention," Shade-Seeker offers in tones of apology. "You speak truly, I know of no such rule--but are many thieves magical, in your world?"

"As far as I know I'm the only one!" he replied with pride, "Which is a good thing, I really don't want anyone copying my style."

His world's not ready for another magical thief the likes of Eli.

"A distinction indeed, then," the mage observes. "I am deeply curious, but do not wish to be impolite in wisdom's pursuit. May I ask you of your experiences?"

Trixie tilted her head as she came upon the odd conversation, curious as to why he's talking to a rock. She can tell something magical is going on, even if she can't quite hear the conversation.

"Am I going to have to watch what I use in my transfigurations if some rocks are as sentient as you make this one appear?" Not having been able to hear both sides of the conversation, she couldn't tell if he'd actually been communicating with the rock, or just manipulating natural magics to make it seem that way.

"Everything has a spirit in it. Every rock, tree, gust of wind... They're usually sleeping though," He glances over to the boulder he had been chatting with. It was beginning to settle down in a new shape and it'd probably go back to sleep soon itself.

"Until someone as friendly and likable as myself comes and wakes them up. But enough about me, I'd like to hear about you," a statement Eli Monpress rarely ever said. He loves himself and loves talking about himself nearly just as much, "I've met horse made of fire and jade before, one with wings once, but I've never seen one with a horn."

Hmmm... that was something she'd have to look into. Magic was 'alive' in a sense, but she'd never seen sentient behavior from things like rocks before. Maybe it was something to do with the magic here, but she'd have to be cautious. She didn't like the idea of hurting a 'person' after all, then again, it sounded like he's the catalyst, so perhaps he was 'translating' magic into something he could interact with...

She resists the urge to automatically correct him calling her a 'horse' with a horn, mostly because how would he know? Still, she would explain "Hmmm... I'm a unicorn, technically a pony with a horn, not a horse, if you want to try and be specific..." She nickers softly "Oh, it's not enough about you, not by a long shot. I've never met anyone that can talk to spirits before."

Trixie was curious. This place was so interesting... Nobody was going to believe this when she went back to Equestria, then again, maybe she wouldn't share this discovery. Call her paranoid, bit she'd rather Discord not have access to such a place.

If that's the way she thinks she and Eli will get along swimmingly. He loves pondering over the nature of magic and spirits and puzzling out the little bits here and there he doesn't quite understand or doesn't encounter very often. He especially adores those he can bounce ideas off of who would grow irritated and impatient with his endless questions.

"A unicorn? Fantastic, I'm so happy to meet you," anything or anyone new was always Eli's favorite thing to discover, "Most people are spirit-deaf, those who can speak with them are a rarity. It's strange that you can't though. Or at least it seems that way to me. Where I'm from those who aren't human can always hear them."

Mysteries abound in this place apparently.

They should get along just fine... provided that he doesn't try to steal anything from her. Trixie doesn't like thieves much. Oh, such things may under some circumstances have a time and a place, but generally thievery is something she finds greatly distasteful.

"It is nice to meet you..." At his explanation, she tilts her head. "Differences in magics perhaps? I could tell something was happening, though I could only hear your side of the... conversation in a way that I could understand."

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First Rule of Thievery

I think I scared everyone in the house when I cheered for this post.

i promised something ridiculous : >

So you did. <3

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Hope you don't mind a unicorn... :3

Not at all! Eli's no stranger to magical non-humans

^_^ Pardon the thought tldr, sometimes the muses like to take over :p

no worries!

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