nexus_sages | First Rule of Thievery

It was a lovely day out in the forum. It was nice and sunny, people were going about their business, relaxing or meeting up with friends. A man was having a spirited conversation with a large rock...

No you're not seeing things.

He looked like he just stepped off the set of Lord of the the Rings (save for a pair of sunglasses that he certainly acquired legally and didn't just carefully pluck off the face of someone who had carelessly fallen asleep on a random couch). He'd pulled a chair, next to a large rock shaped like.. well... most people might say it looked like a rather fetching pair of buttocks. This would be the rock Eli was currently deeply engaged in conversation with.

"Oh that's just terrible! I can't believe they'd call such a fine boulder such as yourself something so offensive," he exclaimed, giving it a sympathetic pat.

"I know! 'Butt-rock'... they never even ask for my name..." the rock sighed.

Now the general populace probably wouldn't hear the rock's reply. No, only those who either worked magic themselves or maybe those who communicated regularly with spirits or ghosts or the like would be able to hear the rock spirit speak. To anyone else? Eli probably looked as if he was just having a crazy one sided conversation with a local landmark.

"To be fair you DO look like one," the thief pointed out after taking a sip of his drink. He had no idea what it was, but it was cold and creamy and had strawberries and bananas in it. He wondered if he could sweet talk the vendor into giving him another freebie.

"There's nothing I can do about that," if rocks could sulk, this one certainly was.

"Oh I think you could! You just have to try it, go on, just move around a little," Eli gave the rock an encouraging pat on the back.

"You think so...?"

Amazingly enough the rock did begin to move. It shuddered first, and the shape then began to slowly shift, accompanied with the loud crunching sound of grinding stone.

"There you go!" Eli grinned and saluted the rock with his delicious fruity drink, "I told you you could do it."

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((I can't remember how much of this came up before, so: Ver's got a truth-sensing curse stuck in her that she can't turn off. She knows when people are lying and she can see through illusions; she doesn't know what the truth is or have psychic powers. More details here.))

Verity had been trying to have a normal day.

Verity lives in the Nexus. What was she thinking?

It's an amusing show, at least, so she's been watching this new fellow talking to a rock for the last few minutes. It might look like she's just taking a chance to enjoy her own drink, all cinnamon and coffee and delish, except for that face she's making. And especially that face she's making when the rock starts to move.

"What just happened?"

"Hmm...?" Eli shifted his attention from the rock.

"AH! You must be talking about new friend here?" he gestured to the boulder which was still moving, it kind of gave off the impression of someone stretching after waking up from a nap.

"Well I was just chatting with it and it was very distraught because people kept calling it the Butt-rock of all things," he sighed and shook his head sadly as if he could scarcely believe the audacity of it all himself.

"So I just recommended that it change," his voice turned instantly cheerful and grinned as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Edited 2016-03-14 01:50 (UTC)

It takes a moment for her to drag her attention away from the moving rock to focus on Eli properly.

"I... okay. That's a lot of words that all technically make sense. And yet. I've never seen the rocks here move like that before." But it's not entirely outside the bounds of possibility, she has to remind herself. So she redoubles her focus on Eli, head tilted a few degrees to the side while she considers him. The clothes suggest the sort of world where inexplicable power means magic, not technology. The inverse of Clarke's Third.

It's not the first time she's seen that kind of thing around here, broadly, even if this particular trick is new. "What do you call that kind of magic?"

The rock wiggles just a moment or two more and if you could imagine it giving a contented sigh, then it certainly did just that.

"What kind? The only kind I'm familiar with," He leaned forward in his seat, curios eyes peeking over the top of his pilfered shades. Were there different sorts? Of course some people utilized their power differently, or had more skill then others... but it was all essentially the same.

"Waking up spirits. Some people call it spiritualism, I just call it being friendly," and when you're a thief it always pays to have friends scattered around field and forest.

Verity's imagination isn't as rich and full as some other people's. On the other hand, she's friends with Groot. She doesn't need an imagination to believe things are possible.

"Waking up spirits. Hmm." Sounds like hippie nonsense. Next thing you know, someone's going to tell her there's a good reason for hipsters to grow those beards. "You must be really friendly, getting results like that."

Her gaze drifts back to the now-settled rock for a moment. "New here?"

"Both people and spirits alike tend to find me irresistibly charming," he winked before pushing the sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose. And well... most found him charming. Then there were the nobles he robbed blind, merchants he talked circles around, guards who shot him, bounty hunters who shot at him more, and his own closest friends who found him exasperating in the best of times.

"And you are correct!" He nodded and went to take a sip of his strawberry banana whatever, only to frown briefly upon realizing he was empty, "I actually received a lovely explanation of the place from that delightful sign."

"Oh, do they?" She's amused by the claim, even if they both know it's a lie. But then, is it? A person can have a duty to shoot the charming thief and might sometimes prioritize it over the chance at drinks later.

It was easier when she didn't think about these things too much.

"That deli... did you hit your head when you got here?" That's the only possible explanation.

"Why do people always ask me that?" he huffed and leaned back in his chair, stowing his empty cup in the convenient holder on the arm. Even people who knew the way his brand of magic worked thought he was a little touched in the head. Granted he was more then mildly eccentric even by his world's standards.

"For your next questions I'm also completely sober and I haven't eaten any suspicious looking mushrooms," he helpfully provided with a dramatic wave of his hand, "I'm just very friendly! And honestly, what better to get pertinent information about a place then a welcoming sign?"

"I've watched a number of people arrive here via falling out of the sky," she points out dryly. "It's an entirely relevant question." From her point of view, anyway. But also, that sign. Did he not see it?

Wait. Maybe he's colorblind.

"That's good, because sometimes the food here is magic and screws with you." She glances at his now-empty cup before continuing. "Have you read the brochure?"

Of course he saw the sign! He also loved the gaudy thing to bits. New best friend! Probably said a lot about him and his taste level really but he was always fascinated by the weird and outlandish.

"I can safely assure you my skull is whole and uncracked," literally at least, it was still up for debated on whether or not he was figuratively cracked.

He pats down his vest and pulls a folded brochure out, "This is what you're talking about I presume?" He smoothed the paper out, "I looked over but it seems almost like a joke? Time is squishy? LOLs? Not all of it's making a whole lot of sense as interesting as it all seems."

Says the man who was talking to a rock.

The sign deserves to feel loved, too. ~~She hopes it doesn't tell Eli about the time she and Han used it for target practice.~~

"Good, good." Figurative issues are beyond her ability to fix and usually she doesn't ask until further into the relationship.

"I know it sounds strange, but it's all true. All of it." She's dead certain about that. "As for making sense, this place doesn't always. It's part of the local charm."

First Rule of Thievery

I think I scared everyone in the house when I cheered for this post.

i promised something ridiculous : >

So you did. <3

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